IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

you work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.. In your letter • describe the problem with the equipment • explain how this problem is affecting your work • say what you want to shop or company to do

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to bring to your attention a problem that I am currently experiencing with a
laptop
Use synonyms
 that I purchased from your store. The
laptop
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 in question is a Toshiba Satellite Pro. The problem is that the Windows operating system shuts down for no reason, often several times a day. There is no advanced warning, and it takes around five minutes for the system to reboot.
As a result
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,
this
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 issue is preventing me from being able to fully utilize the
laptop
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 for my work as I am required to participate in Zoom meetings, which I lose access to when the shutdowns occur. I would like the shop or company to take responsibility for
this
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 problem and either repair or replace it as I purchased
this
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laptop
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 with the expectation that it would function as advertised. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Mark Whiteman

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Task Achievement
To enhance the letter, consider providing more detailed information about the problem. For example, specify how long you have owned the equipment and whether it started malfunctioning immediately or after some time. This would add depth to your explanation.
Coherence & Cohesion
Although your letter is well-structured, adding a paragraph that outlines any troubleshooting steps you have already taken could provide a clearer picture of the situation to the shop or company. It could also demonstrate that you have made an effort to resolve the issue on your own before reaching out.
Coherence & Cohesion
In terms of coherence, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using transitional phrases where appropriate. This will help maintain a cohesive narrative throughout your letter.
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