Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

#shops #supermarkets #area #affect #communities #situation

Many little, local stores are lacking as they are helpless to compete with big

shops

in the space.

As a result

, local

shops

will face

job

loss and provide less personal

service

, but

this

can be tackled by promoting local shopping initiatives and collaborating networks for local businesses.

Firstly

, the main problem faced by local

shops

job

loss.

In other words

, when the

shops

go down, it will be difficult to find a

job

For example

, in China, they created large markets, and jobs began to decrease.

Consequently

, people will find it hard to secure employment, and poverty will rise.

Secondly

, another problem is less personal

service

This

is because when people do not get good

service

, there will be issues and even crimes.

Moreover

, no one can easily help them with what they need. There are two solutions. One of those solutions is to promote local shopping initiatives.

That is

to say, if the governments or community groups organize campaigns that encourage residents to shop locally

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

providing incentives like loyalty programs,

this

could attract more customers and help level the playing field with large supermarkets.

For instance

, when governments run promotional campaigns, markets will develop. Another solution is that collaboration between

shops

is essential. If they want more customers, they have to work together to reduce costs and offer better prices to attract customers.

To sum up

, local

shops

are unable to compete with large supermarkets, leading to

job

losses and less personal

service

, which can only be tackled by encouraging local shopping and fostering collaboration.

Submitted by s_syedy on Tue Sep 17 2024

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language

Work on using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the richness of the essay.

clarity

Make sure to clarify certain points more clearly, for example, the link between less personal service and crime, to avoid any ambiguity.

grammar

Improve sentence structure to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

content

The essay addresses both the problems and solutions clearly, providing a balanced view.

structure

There is a logical progression of ideas, making it easy to follow the argument.

organization

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

Many social media accounts are fake What problems does ths cause? What Solatons can you suget?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?