Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

It is argued by some that by building more sports facilities, improvement in

overall

public

health

can be achieved. Others suggest

to look

Change the verb form

looking

show examples

for alternate approaches as more facilities would not have a significant impact.

While

building more activity centres would help people stay fit, I believe that constructing more modern public healthcare units will benefit individuals in

this

regard. Gyms and fitness studios can assist folks in maintaining physical

health

through various workouts like weight training and cardio etc. Working out on a regular basis or at proper intervals ensures that some concerns like cholesterol, orthopaedic pain, and even mental

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

etc are in check.

As a result

, the physiological and psychological conditions of a human are improved here.

For example

, a study by AIIMS Delhi stated that Chandigarh, a state of India, has seen the least admits in public and private hospitals because of their constant focus on enrolling their people

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Akhadas, a kind of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

open gym.

However

this

is not sufficient because fatal

health

issues cannot be treated by simply hitting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the gym.

Therefore

, state authorities should look towards establishing new hospitals and nursing homes which are state-of-the-art. As the number increases, more hospital beds

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be available.

Hence

, citizens would be able to undergo more medical

scrutinies

Fix the agreement mistake

scrutiny

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

routine follow-ups and much more.

This

in turn would uplift lift the average

health

index of the society.

For instance

, during the

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

pandemic's second wave in 2021, every country around the world required more hospital beds than ever to cater to patients affected by the flu. Because of

this

demand, many fitness studios were converted to treatment centres to take in more patients.

This

is why, I believe that more modern public

health

clinics are required over sports facilities. In conclusion, we require more investments in the healthcare domain to build more modern hospitals to better the average physiological conditions of a region, and only relying on building activity centres is ill-advised.

Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on Tue Sep 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that your ideas are consistently developed throughout the essay. You can elaborate a bit more on how sports facilities may indirectly affect serious health issues as well.

task achievement

Make sure to balance the discussion a bit more by providing additional perspectives or counterarguments for both sides.

general

Work on complex sentence structure and vocabulary to make your essay more sophisticated.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Excellent use of specific examples to support your points.

task achievement

Your ideas are clearly conveyed and comprehensively discussed.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

331 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

3. Can money bring happiness? Give your opinion and support it with examples

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centres. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

Many people believe that the current system of both teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?