It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, many argue that saving money, especially for adolescents, is completely important for their future, in spite of others believing that it is not necessary. I agree with that view
,
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because it helps youngsters fulfil their prospective needs and minimize the risk against higher prices of items. On the one hand, there is a major fact that there will be more things to purchase as they grow up.
Moreover
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, those who have families need more equipment compared to a person who lives alone.
Therefore
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, having more complex essentials leads to a greater amount of cash to secure. The National Statistics of the United States explained that living expenses for people in the productive age group with two kids
is
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75% higher than the unmarried.
As a result
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, saving money must be normalized in the young generation;
hence
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, they can afford to buy their personal needs in the future.
On the other hand
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,
this
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idea is
also
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helping the population to recover from the growth of goods prices. Nowadays, many people are currently suffering from the financial crisis
due to
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the dramatic rise of essential needs.
This
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is caused by the unstable condition in terms of the global economy, which affects many nations’ inflation rates. Research from Economy University mentioned that the inflation rate was 10% over 5 years, and a similar pattern can be seen in the increasing product values.
For example
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,
Indonesian
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Indonesians
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experience a rise in living costs by 15% in a year as the effects of the global crisis.
Consequently
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, they should preserve their money to reduce the impact of growing costs. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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saving funds is obviously vital for preparing a bright future for youth.
This
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is supported by arguments that there will be more demand for
the
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fundamental things and a rise in the prices of products in the upcoming years.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument and that examples are directly relevant.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on some points to enhance depth and understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Work on making transitions between ideas smoother for enhanced readability.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively presents the topic and the writer's standpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Good conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces the viewpoint discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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