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Band 6

Some people believe that teachers have an important role to play in the educational success, while others think it is the students' attitude that matters. Discuss both of views and share your opinion.

#people #teachers #role #success #students #attitude #matters
Nowadays youngsters' education is an actual issue and teachers play a significant role in
students
' studies.
Nonetheless
, there are some
argues as
Correct your spelling
arguments
show examples
: some people think that learners' success relies on their attitude
for
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 study, and the rest of them claim that educators' influence on more mandatory. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, the tutor's role and teaching way are extremely important because if a
teacher
 is educated and does his work properly,
students
 will be definitely successful in their studies.
For example
, when I was studying in middle school, I was not lucky with my English
teacher
. She did not teach us at all, and my classmates scored on the subject. After, when I moved to another school, I had a better
teacher
 than my previous one and advanced my knowledge.
On the other hand
, the student's attitude is more necessary. Some learners do not want to study even if they have a good
teacher
. Even tutors teach
students
 decently,
nevertheless
,
scholars
Correct word choice
if scholars
show examples
 do not pay attention to and score their studies, their success clearly will be in question.
For example
, in my school, there is a math
teacher
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
she
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 has extensive work experience and high education. Most of her learners know her subject well,
however
, there are some
students
 who do not want to study and always sleep during her lessons.
To sum up
, in my opinion, in most cases on student's success in learning, mostly influences him. The
teacher
 is only a guide in
this
 way, and
learner's
Correct article usage
the learner's
show examples
 hard work and discipline are indicators of their achievement.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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task achievement
You should refine your introduction to be more concise and clear. Consider eliminating redundant phrases such as "there are some argues as:" There should be a clearer presentation of why the issue is being discussed.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid informal language and slang such as "score on the subject." Also ensure that each sentence is clear and doesn't have any awkward phrasing that could impede understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The examples provided are specific and relevant, helping to support your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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