IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

A friend of yours is going on holiday soon and has asked you to recommend a destination. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: · recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited · describe where you stayed and what you can do there · give one negative aspect about the destination

#friend #holiday #destination #place #aspect
Dear Jen, Thanks for reaching out.
This
 letter is to suggest you a good place you can visit during your vacation. I'd like to recommend
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a trip to the northern region of India called Bir Billing, located in the state of Himachal Pradesh. It's a must-visit during the
winters
Fix the agreement mistake
winter
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.
Last
 year, I visited the place
during
Change preposition
in
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 October, and I believe it's the same month when your holiday is planned. I booked my
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 at Zostel, in Bir city, a hotel chain that allows room sharing with fellow travellers. I booked a bed in one of their dorms for a week,
this
 helped me jell and interact with complete strangers. There are a couple of things you can do like bungee jumping, rock climbing and paragliding, a very famous sport in that region. I'd encourage you to go for a paragliding experience, it's a one-of-a-kind experience.
However
, things go pretty quiet really early, around 6 PM, over there, which might be a bit of a problem because that's the time you'd probably want to hang out with local folks. You might feel a bit bored during that time. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Best wishes, Nilesh
Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on

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task achievement
You could improve your range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make the letter even more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The letter contains a clear recommendation, description of the stay, activities, and a negative aspect, which fulfills the task requirements quite well.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are well-executed, making the letter feel personal and sincere.
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