In many countries, young people are richer, they have not only security but also they are healthier than ever before. However, they seem unhappy. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to overcome this problem?
In many countries, the young generation is rich, secure and healthy,
however
, they are not happy. The main reasons behind this
issue are that young people
do not want to work
hard, and they ignore their spiritual health
. Young people
should engage in social work
and practice meditation
because these will help them to become happy.
These days, young people
do not believe in hard work
, and they want to achieve everything without any effort. Achieving something without any effort makes them unhappy because they do not have any contribution to it. Moreover
, today, young people
ignore their spiritual well-being. They do not practice any habits to take care of their spiritual health
such
as meditation
or prayer. Practising these habits enhances spiritual health
and makes a person happy and content. For example
, in Bangladesh, young people
from rural areas who pray are happier than young people
from urban areas who do not pray.
Young people
should be engaged in social work
because it will provide them with happiness. There is always happiness in helping others and bringing changes in people
's lives. Moreover
, the young generation should take care of their spiritual health
because it will help them to become happy and content. They can practice meditation
to improve their spiritual health
. For instance
, in Australia, young people
have said that practising meditation
has improved their spiritual health
a lot.
To conclude
, if young people
believe in working hard to achieve anything, and take care of their spiritual health
, they will be happy. Helping others and practising meditation
can help in this
regard.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
When discussing why young people might be unhappy despite being rich, secure, and healthy, you could include more varied reasons such as the impact of social media, high expectations, and the lack of deep human connections.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and additional examples that relate directly to your points, to further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay flows well, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the main problem and outlines the reasons you will discuss, making it easy for the reader to understand the essay's direction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support your main points, and a strong conclusion that summarizes your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples (Bangladesh, Australia) makes your arguments more convincing and relatable.