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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life
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It is widely believed that competition has a positive influence on
people
's academic and non-academic lives,
while
 there are those who opine that a sense of cooperation among
people
 must be encouraged.
This
 essay will outline some arguments in favour of both sides and
finally
 put forward my personal stance on
this
 matter. On the one hand, encouraging competition at different stages of
life
 improves an individual performance on various tasks. To elucidate it,
people
 will tend to work harder and push themselves more if they have peers in the same field who challenge them. Alternatively, it seems illogical to invest time and effort if you do not have competitors. To illustrate, it is certainly the competition that distinguishes the performance of a number of students in the same class on the basis of their grades
,
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 and eventually ranks them from highest to lowest.
On the other hand
, competing against each other has its downsides as well, which encourage a sense of support and coordination among colleagues. Sometimes, they start leg-pulling in order to surpass their competitors, which is unacceptable.
Moreover
, support from peers could help
people
 to grow better as individuals, and in fact, benefit society as a whole.
For instance
, if an organization encourages a sense of cooperation among its workers regardless of their position in the industry, it will result in a more productive work environment, and ultimately lead to more profit and a good reputation. Many studies have shown that the supportive behaviour of managers and executives with their workers encourages them to stay longer in the firm and work more efficiently. To recapitulate,
while
 competing against each other is beneficial in
academic
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the academic
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 period, teamwork and collaboration are more essential in professional
life
. From my perspective, competitiveness should be restricted to school
life
 and mutual support should be adopted in non-academic and daily
life
.
Submitted by muaaztousif2105 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are clearer and more fluid to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your arguments, particularly in supporting the idea of competition.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, making the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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