Some people believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is widely believed that competition has a positive influence on
people
's academic and non-academic lives,
while
there are others who opine that a sense of cooperation among
people
must be encouraged.
This
essay will outline some arguments in
favor
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favour
show examples
of both sides and
finally
put forward my personal stance on
this
matter. On the one hand, encouraging competition at different stages of
life
improves an individual performance on various tasks. To elucidate it,
people
will tend to work even harder and give their best if they have peers in the same field who challenge them. Alternatively, it seems illogical to invest time and effort if you do not have competitors. To epitomize, it is certainly the rivalry that distinguishes the performance of a number
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
in the same class on the basis of their grades, and eventually
rank
Correct subject-verb agreement
ranks
show examples
them from highest to lowest.
On the other hand
, competing against each other
have
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has
show examples
its downsides as well, which encourage
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense of support and coordination among
people
. Sometimes,
people
start leg-pulling in order to surpass their competitors, which is unacceptable.
Moreover
, support from peers could help
people
to grow better as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual
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individuals
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, and in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
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benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as a whole.
For instance
, if an organization encourages
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense of cooperation among its workers regardless of their position in the industry, it will result in a more productive work environment, and ultimately lead to more profit and a good reputation. Many studies have shown that the supportive behaviour of managers and executives with their workers
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
them to stay longer in the firm and work more efficiently. To recapitulate,
while
competing against each other is beneficial in academic
life
, teamwork and collaboration are more essential in professional
life
. From my perspective, competitiveness should be restricted to school
life
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mutual support
is
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should be
show examples
adopted in non-academic and daily
life
.
Submitted by muaaztousif2105 on

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task achievement
To enhance the essay, ensure that all arguments are thoroughly explained and supported. Currently, some points lack depth and detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs for smoother flow. This will make the essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps organize the response effectively.
task achievement
The writer presents a balanced discussion by considering both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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