Some people think that it is beneficial for students to go to private secondary schools, but others think that it has negative effects. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
I agree that sending
students
to private secondary schools
has benefits, and I also
agree that sending them to such
schools
has negative effects. In this
essay, I shall look at these benefits and drawbacks.
The main benefit of sending students
to private schools
is that the quality of education there is generally better. It is natural that wealthier parents
should want their children to go to the best school that they can afford. Private schools
, since they charge parents
directly rather than relying on the government for money, can charge higher fees. Part of these fees is generally used to pay teachers a higher salary than they would get in the state
sector. This
means that,
generally speaking, private Remove the comma
apply
schools
have better teachers than state
ones. This
should be, and usually is, reflected in higher exam results for students
at private schools
. A beneficial side effect of this
is that parents
who send their children to private schools
are still paying for state
ones through taxes.
The main disadvantage of a private school, in my opinion, is that the students
there may not reflect society as a whole. Instead
, they probably only reflect the wealthier than average
part of society, since poorer Add a hyphen
wealthier-than-average
parents
cannot afford to send their children there.
This
can lead to students
from private schools
believing that they are inherently better than students
from state
schools
. It could also
lead to suggestions that private schools
are elitist. Most private schools
in Britain try to overcome such
criticisms by providing a certain number of places for talented students
from poorer families, either at reduced fees or for no fee at all.
In conclusion, I think that there are both positive and negative aspects of private schools
.
Generally
though, I think that they are a good thing.Add a comma
Generally,
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning statistics or case studies related to private versus state school performance would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
In terms of clarity, try to elaborate a bit more on the ideas presented. Adding a few more sentences to explain complex points can provide a clearer understanding for the reader.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion, you could use a wider range of transition words and phrases. This will ensure smoother connections between your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with a strong introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your main points from the start and provides a satisfactory closure.
coherence cohesion
You have well-supported main points and have addressed both sides of the argument balancedly. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The language used is formal and appropriate for an academic essay, which adds to the professionalism of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.