In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries, they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

In
this
contemporary epoch, some nations carry extremely strict regulations for providing excellent social skills to juveniles
while
the remaining allot a high
level
of
freedom
to them, to do whatever they want.
This
essay will delve into the importance of the
level
of
freedom
that should be rendered to children.
To begin
with, youngsters who are bound by strict rules have good communication skills which are relentlessly vital to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
a happy and healthy life in society. Proper nomos make them behave excellently with their teachers, parents, and other individuals.
Moreover
, the nations which have regulated strict procedures of behaviour are usually more successful and the youth usually reacts positively to all matters.
Furthermore
, when an excess
level
of liberty is provided to teenagers, they usually start using it in the wrong way and its repercussions are observed to be immensely disruptive.
For instance
, higher levels of authority and
freedom
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
in building an aggressive nature among the students.
However
, higher
freedom
encourages children to grow early because they are able to analyze, what is good or bad for their future. In my opinion, it is vital that a
level
of
freedom
must be provided
according to
the age or experience.
This
is vital to maintain the balance in surroundings. Enormously low or high levels of
freedom
can never bring positive reactions in the environment;
thus
, a medium
level
of
freedom
is necessary to generate responsible citizens.
To conclude
, as per the testimonials mentioned above it is crystal clear that
freedom
plays a prominent role in the lives of kids but, they should never be allowed to do what they desire,
instead
, they should be permitted to make decisions for themselves, but under certain limits.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Task Response
Your essay would be strengthened by including more specific examples to support your arguments. Examples add clarity and make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the main points are clear and well presented, consider using more varied language and sentence structure to further enhance readability and engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your essay has a clear and logical structure, it would benefit from more smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance cohesiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a solid and appropriate introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments well.
Task Response
You have a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, which includes addressing both sides of the argument and providing your own opinion.
Task Response
The main points you make are well-supported and logically presented. Though more examples could be added, your existing arguments are coherent and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • discipline
  • autonomy
  • safety
  • responsibility
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • independence
  • boundaries
  • rebellion
  • holistic development
  • structure
  • nurturing environment
  • behavioral expectations
  • social norms
  • authority
  • decision-making skills
  • consequences
  • respect
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