You're a business owner and you want to buy an expensive technology for your company. Write a letter to producer factory to find out more details about the machine.

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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dissatisfaction
regarding
Correct pronoun usage
regarding this
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. I bought a computer from you 2 months ago and to bring to your attention the concerns I have encountered formally. I believe it is important to address
this
matter properly to
resolve
Correct pronoun usage
resolve it
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. On 3 October,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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purchased
product
Add an article
a product
the product
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from your company.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
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my experience was far from satisfactory . The computer keys did not work.
This
issue has had a significant impact on me causing inconvenience and distress. I expected better from your company and the current situation does not meet the standards of quality and service that I have come to associate with your brand . I want to complain about what happened. In light of the
above
Add a comma
above,
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I am seeking compensation for the product in question product. I believe that a fair resolution to
this
matter would be satisfying my needs. I trust that your company values
it's
Replace the word
its
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costumer
Correct your spelling
customers
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and is committed to providing excellent service. Thank you for your prompt attention to
this
issue. I believe that with your cooperation we can resolve
this
matter
amicable
Change the word
amicably
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.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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sincerely Sevinch Barotova
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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There are several grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the letter. For instance, 'i' should be capitalized to 'I,' 'costumer' should be 'customer,' and 'amicable' should be 'amicably.' Consulting a Grammar guide or using grammar checking tools might help.
Coherence and Cohesion
It is advisable to organize one idea per paragraph for clarity. For example, the first paragraph could focus on expressing dissatisfaction, the second on detailing the problem, and the third on seeking resolution. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
Task Achievement
Providing more specific details about the product, such as its exact model or order number, would add authenticity and precision to your complaint. Additionally, specifying a deadline for a response may prompt quicker action.
Tone
The tone of the letter is suitably formal and expresses a clear intention to resolve the matter amicably. This is well-suited for business correspondence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the letter generally follows a logical order, moving from the problem's introduction to the details and finally to the desired resolution. This helps the reader follow your line of thinking clearly.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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