IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The roads in major cities today are often difficult to travel on. What are the causes of this situation ? What is the solution ?

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In many major
cities
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 today, travelling on the
roads
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 has become a difficult and frustrating experience.
This
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 essay will explore the causes of
this
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 problem and suggest possible solutions. One of the main causes of
traffic
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 congestion is the rapid increase in the number of vehicles. As towns grow and more people own
cars
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, the number of vehicles on the
roads
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 rises, leading to overcrowded streets.
For example
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, in
cities
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 like New York and London, the constant flow of
cars
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 during rush hours creates long delays for commuters. Another cause is the lack of proper public transportation systems. In many
cities
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,
the
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apply
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public transport options are limited, unreliable, or expensive, which forces humans to use their own
cars
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instead
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.
This
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further
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 contributes to the
traffic
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 problem.
Moreover
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, poor
road
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 infrastructure can
also
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 make travel difficult. In some metropolitans,
roads
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 are outdated or not designed to handle heavy
traffic
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, which leads to frequent
traffic
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 jams and accidents.
Additionally
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, construction work or accidents often block lanes, worsening the situation. To solve these issues, governments should invest in improving public transportation. Expanding and modernizing bus and train systems would reduce the number of
cars
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 on the
road
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 and make travel easier. Another solution is to build better
road
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 networks with more lanes and clearer
traffic
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 management systems.
Finally
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, encouraging people to use alternative modes of transport,
such
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 as cycling or walking, could
also
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 help reduce
traffic
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 congestion. In conclusion, the difficulties of travelling on city
roads
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 are caused by an increase in vehicles, poor public transport, and outdated infrastructure.
However
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, by improving transportation options and
road
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 planning,
cities
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 can ease
traffic
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 congestion and make travel more efficient.

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task achievement
While you have provided good coverage of the topic, including causes and solutions, consider elaborating a bit more on your examples and the implications of your solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a logical flow of ideas. To enhance it further, you might want to include more linking phrases or transitional words to make connections between your ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay and clearly states the purpose, while your conclusion nicely summarizes your main points and reinforces the topic.
task achievement
You have identified relevant causes and solutions, providing a reasonable understanding of the issue of traffic congestion in major cities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • public transportation
  • maintenance
  • pollution
  • vehicle density
  • alternative modes of transport
  • urban sprawl
  • sustainability
  • traffic management
  • bicycling
  • walkability
  • road safety
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