Some people believe, more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done.
There are two ways to prevent
crime
: more actions
should be taken or little attempts
can be made. Although
, to prevent crime
more attempts
can be done
, little can Verb problem
made
also
prevent from
committing Change preposition
apply
crimes
.
On the one side, it is essential that more actions
can be taken to prevent crime
. Nowadays, there are too many criminals. To prevent them from committing a crime
, the government
should be responsible for taking actions
to prevent Fix the agreement mistake
action
crime
. For example
, if the government
increase the salary of the public, most people
may not commit any crime
. Because,
more Remove the comma
apply
people
may commit crimes
due to
lack of money or not enough conditions in their homes. Therefore
, the government
should be responsible for taking more actions
.
On the other side, little attempts
can also
prevent from committing crimes
. Most children
commit crimes
because of their bad nature or lack of education. Parents should teach their children
from an early age. For example
, if parents do something firstly
themselves, children
also
do this
activity. Because children
get everything from their parents. If in
the home Change preposition
apply
would be
Wrong verb form
is
good
Change the word
well
nurture
and enough thingsWrong verb form
nurtured
,
Add a missing verb
are, children
children
may not commit any crime
. So, firstly
people
should start by themselves to prevent from
committing Correct pronoun usage
them from
crimes
.
In conclusion, there are two ways to prevent crime
: taking more actions
or little can be done, too. Government
should be responsible for making Correct article usage
The government
attempts
to prevent crime
. But firstly
people
should start to prevent their children
from committing crimes
, by themselves. It can be an effective way to teach or prevent their children
from committing crimes
.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the clarity and cohesion of your arguments. Sometimes your points are not expressed as clearly as they could be. Pay close attention to sentence structure and word choice to make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
While your essay covers both sides of the argument, it could benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your points. Try to be more comprehensive in exploring each side.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion. This is a key requirement for Task Achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well. This shows a good understanding of essay structure.