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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many believe that food education should be a mandatory part of the school curriculum. Discuss the reasons for and against this position

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It is widely considered that academies should incorporate mandatory food education, and
this
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 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
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 view. To start with, one compelling argument is the lack of parenting at home in today's society, as double-income families become prevalent to secure financial stability;
thus
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, providing substantial lessons regarding eating habits is valuable for students' families.
This
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 is because once children build a lifestyle, regardless of whether it is harmful or not, parents would struggle to modify it
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
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; namely, taking enlightening classes from an early age at school encourages young children to continue to keep a healthy lifestyle without parents' effort.
In contrast
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, one key drawback of
this
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 notion is that teachers have to take on more responsibilities, which can be a significant concern in some countries.
For example
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, recent news reported that more than 6000 elementary teachers in Japan suffered from mental illnesses in 2024.
As a result
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, some of them were diagnosed with depression and retired, which means these required food classes pose a risk of undermining the
overall
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 quality of education;
accordingly
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, to avoid
such
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 situations, it is essential to offer mental support and review their tasks. In conclusion, installing mandatory diet lessons at school has both positive and negative perspectives. To address the lack of parenting and obtain healthy habits, it is crucial for children.
On the other hand
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, mitigating teachers' stress is a pressing issue, so offering mental support and reviewing their responsibilities is vital.

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Task Response
Consider expanding on the examples provided to offer more depth.
Task Response
Ensure all ideas are explored equally to present a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more efficiently to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction that sets the stage for discussing both sides of the argument.
Introduction and Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a clear stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are well developed with rationale and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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