Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Investments from the

government

Use synonyms

in visual arts are a waste of money,

instead

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should direct

this

Linking Words

monetary aid to public services.

This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with the statement because

art

Use synonyms

centres do not require any

additonal

Correct your spelling

additional

financial backing and other sectors require

this

Linking Words

more.

Use synonyms

Art

Correct article usage

The art

show examples

gallery's survival does not depend on the

government

Use synonyms

's capital assistance. They can be self-reliant

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they manage their events well. Typically, the events hosted by them lack good awareness, which results in low public exposure. If they are managed by seasoned professionals, cash from the ticket bookings only would overshoot the breakeven point.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they do not have to rely on the

government

Use synonyms

for bearing

Change preposition

to bear

show examples

the costs.

For example

Linking Words

, Nandan's, a cultural club of Kolkata, annual

art

Use synonyms

exhibition is so famous, that it recovers their entire year's operational cost within the first day.

As a result

Linking Words

, they never had to request any investment from the state's finance minister.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

investment can be better utilized by other important sectors like healthcare, that are always in need

for

Change preposition

show examples

capital to match the ever-changing

standarcs

Correct your spelling

standards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern medical facilities. If the public hospitals and nursing homes get

this

Linking Words

additional money, they can hire more staff and improve their medical instruments, which in turn would benefit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and raise its health

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

Delhi

Correct article usage

the Delhi

show examples

government

Use synonyms

's budget allocation of an additional INR 1000 crore over the previous year in the state's medicine department has seen an improvement in the local health

centres

Change noun form

centres'

centre's

show examples

ability to provide a

world class

Add a hyphen

world-class

show examples

service to its patients. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

governments investing in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

Use synonyms

galleries

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

quite common, I believe it is a poor use of financial resources because these cultural centres can be self-reliant if they are well-managed, and other state departments like healthcare require

this

Linking Words

more to meet the changing medicine standards.

majumdarnilesh21Thu Sep 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

While the essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, consider strengthening the conclusion by summarizing the main points more distinctly.

clear comprehensive ideas

There were a few minor grammatical errors. For example, 'additonal' should be 'additional' and 'art gallery's' should be 'art galleries'. A more thorough proofreading would help eliminate these minor mistakes.

complete response

The essay directly addresses the task and provides a clear and comprehensive response to the statement.

logical structure

The logical structure of the essay is strong, with well-organized paragraphs and a good flow of ideas.

relevant specific examples

Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Tourist attraction
Generates revenue
Mental well-being
Social cohesion
Societal development
Quality of life
Economic stability
Budget constraints
Unemployment services
Emergency response infrastructure
Balanced approach

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The amount of time spend on sports and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest ?
More time should be added to school so as to deal with the problem of obesity in children. In my opinion, I think this is not the best way of solving this problem. This essay will indicate other solutions.
4
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Advertisements have become an inseparable part of every business these days. The market is so competetive that advertising techniques are developing day by day. One of the most efficient techniques is the promise of innovation in the product that is being advertised. Everything comes with a consequence and this emphasis on innovation is not an exception.
5.5
band
“Prevention is better than cure”. Both research and treatment for the disease are costly and it would be better to invest in preventing the disease. To what extent do you agree?
There is a quote “Prevention is better than cure”. This statement appear because the cost of medication is very expensive and research approve it. That is why better for everyone to keep maintain their own health from disease. Personally, I extremely agree with this since health is important to support our daily activities and the price of treatment is highly expensive.
<4
band
The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year
The maps illustrate the existing condition of Southwest Airport and the next year's planned redevelopment.
6
band
Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take an interest in the arts?
Creativity has been a prominent part of human life for the past decades in the world.But at present times art disappear folks prefer to adopt technology and science.There are many reasons which will be discussed in upcoming fragments.

Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Your opinion

The amount of time spend on sports and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest ?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

“Prevention is better than cure”. Both research and treatment for the disease are costly and it would be better to invest in preventing the disease. To what extent do you agree?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take an interest in the arts?