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Band 7

It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#criminals #level #education #people #crime #prison #jobs
Some people, especially those from poor economic backgrounds, commit most of the crimes seen today.
However
, some believe that to curb crime rates and help them find decent jobs, it is necessary to promote good values ​​through
education
. I think I very much agree with the idea of ​​promoting learning in prisoners and guiding them on the right path. Many offenders are more likely to commit crimes and end up in prison because they are disadvantaged and do not have the opportunity to receive a proper
education
.
Education
 can help eliminate most of the problems faced today; it is a healthy, wealthy lifestyle and a way to imbibe good moral values. If prisoners receive a good
education
, they may be instilled with these values.
Such
 Foundations can
also
 help you obtain high-paying jobs and social status.
Furthermore
, having a good source of income prevents them from engaging in any illegal work to satisfy their needs.
For example
, many ex-offenders in India now work for nonprofit organizations.
Furthermore
, obtaining a source of income and working for an organization will lead to the development of society. It will bring more capital to the province that can be used for
further
 development of the province.
Moreover
, the whole person will have a peaceful atmosphere, and people will not care too much about the misfortunes in the world.
For example
, many ex-offenders have embarked on a spiritual path. In summary, a good
education
 can allow offenders to live a better life after prison, find a well-paying job, and
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help them gain social status, thereby reducing crime rates.
Submitted by carolwan18 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the topic and supported by examples.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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