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Writing Samples
Band 7

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think that changes have been very positive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate over whether
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 lifestyle has more benefits than drawbacks or not. Some
people
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 claim that new norms changed our lives for the better,
while
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 others firmly believe that the conditions we are providing now won'
t
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 help us raise a good generation.
This
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 essay will elucidate both sides of
this
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 argument and provide a personal opinion. On the one hand, I believe that the norms our ancestors had were unethical.
For instance
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, in the past women had no right to vote for the new president and they didn'
t
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 have an opportunity to find a proper job.
Therefore
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, in today's fast-paced world, we are treating everyone equally. Back in the old days, the rights of disabled
people
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 were constantly violated. They weren'
t
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 treated as human beings but more like animals.
For example
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, there was a circus called "circus of morons" where only disabled
people
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 acted.
Additionally
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,
people
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 used to be very violent in the past.
This
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 can be proved by looking at how many arenas were built around the world. Nowadays, we prefer peace and don'
t
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 start wars without a solid reason.
On the other hand
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, looking at the young generation we can see many problems with the current lifestyle. Many youngsters tend to spend their free time using smartphones and playing video games. Most of them are socially awkward and prefer to talk with
people
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 online.
In addition
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, many individuals in today's fast-paced world have problems with work-life balance. They spend their life in pursuit of a promotion or a raise.
As a result
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, a huge amount of youngsters have stress-related diseases. In order to prove
this
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, we need to take a look at recent research that has revealed that 40% of humanity have problems with their health,
due to
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 bad work-life balance. In conclusion, I think it is evident that the current lifestyle is better than our ancestors had.
This
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 essay analyzed both sides of
this
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 argument and provided viable information.
Moreover
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,
this
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 essay states my personal view on
this
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 topic.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear view of both sides of the argument, but it could be stronger by stating your opinion more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
In your second paragraph, make sure to organize your points in a clearer way. The transition between ideas was sometimes unclear.
task achievement
In your third paragraph, try to give more specific examples to support your points about the negative aspects of modern life.
task achievement
You provided good examples from the past to support your points about the positive changes in society.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the overall theme of the essay and reflects your opinion clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Technological advancements
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Nuclear family
  • Extended family
  • Life expectancy
  • Healthcare improvements
  • mental health
  • Environmental degradation
  • Traditional family structures
  • Industrialization
  • Urbanization
  • Consumption patterns
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