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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

International tourism is harmful for developing countries because it can damage local environment and culture, therefore it should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #countries #damage #environment #culture
There is no denying the fact that global
tourism
 can bring a lot of drawbacks for any
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
 by destroying local history and culture as
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 it must be stopped . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I totally disagree with
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 because
tourism
 can
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 so many benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 countries.
To begin
 with the main advantage of
internation
Correct your spelling
international
tourism
 is it excellent source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 income and
refresh
Correct subject-verb agreement
refreshes
show examples
 the local market economy
therefore
 nations can use
this
 kind of source of money to develop
thire
Correct your spelling
their
 facilities in all
diffrent
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different
 kinds of fields .
For example
, after
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pandamic
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pandemic
 period many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 closed
thire
Correct your spelling
their
 airports for medical reasons
therefore
 many local
busnisses
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businesses
 were shutdown
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of consumers and buyers in
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
 government could not support
thire
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their
citizen
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citizens
show examples
and help them
form
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from
show examples
 that
lost
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loss
show examples
.
In
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On
show examples
 the other hand , the
manin reson
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main reason
of
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apply
show examples
the majority of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 is to discover and find out more
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 history and for
this
 result many cities allow
forgine
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foreign
 people to know more about local culture by building museums to identify
thier
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their
 ancient culture
for instance
 ,
country
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a country
show examples
 like Eygpt had various kind of
anciets
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ancients
 and it
attract
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attracts
show examples
huge
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a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of
visiters
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visitors
show examples
 yearly to
rearn
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learn
 about
egyption
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Egyptian
 ancestors by
visit
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visiting
show examples
 museums and
perymaid
Correct your spelling
mermaid
. In conclusion ,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of international
tourism
 are countless manily it can elevate
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 economy so it
incline
Change the verb form
inclines
show examples
 the
developmemt
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development
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
as well as
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
enivronment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Submitted by may.al.zemami on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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