IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

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In recent years, a wide spectrum of people have settled in urban areas. In
cities
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, there are a plethora of challenges faced by city dwellers. Based on
this
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 pretext, the following paragraphs will discuss whether the government should suggest people shift back to regional areas.
To begin
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 with, many metropolitan
cities
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 are hovered with numerous difficulties ranging from rising cost of living like hikes in food and fuel prices, and tuition fees to growing population. More than half of people’s income is spent on fulfilling their basic needs, and
therefore
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, extremely difficult to save money for the future.
For example
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, in Sydney, the cost of childcare has risen from 100$ to 200$ per week for a single child.
This
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 is not enough, as the expenditure of a week’s grocery has increased to at least 30 per cent post covid onwards. Another significant issue is that developed
cities
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 like Sydney are
also
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 facing an influx of international students.
Hence
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, a young cohort of individuals is finding it difficult for accommodation and even if they are getting it, the rent prices are skyrocketing.
Besides
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,
along with
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 the rising rent, vehicles like cars have
also
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 increased and
this
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 has limited space for pedestrians and creates congestion on the road. Despite the challenges, the government authorities should resolve issues and not encourage the masses to settle back in rural areas. The reason behind
this
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 is that in
cities
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 there is potential growth in getting well-paid jobs, and better accessibility to schools, hospitals and medicines.
Hence
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,
this
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 will not only aid affluent people but
also
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 the middle-class group to lead a quality life.
To conclude
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, large
cities
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 face different problems consisting of high expenditure on food, rent and high fee structure in educational institutions to
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
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 population. At the same time, there’s a possibility that the inhabitants can lead a progressive life
due to
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 the availability of necessities consisting of better education and medical facilities.
Thus
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, considering the upsides of staying in big
cities
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 is more beneficial than living in small towns.

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Task Achievement
For the criterion of task achievement, ensure that both parts of the question - the discussion of problems and whether governments should encourage moving to smaller towns - are addressed fully. Include a more balanced argument that covers the reasons for and against the encouragement of moving to smaller towns.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate the problems faced in big cities and the potential benefits of smaller towns. This will enhance the relevance and support for your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure to include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Also, work on tying the conclusion back to both aspects of the prompt for a more well-rounded essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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