Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done.

#people #actions #crime

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There are two ways to prevent

crime

: the first one is to do more

actions

and the second one is to do little

actions

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and In my opinion, little

actions

also

can be taken to prevent

crime

. On the one hand, it is very important and useful to take more action to prevent

crimes

. Nowadays, the number of criminals is increasing day by day. To defend

this

, the

government

should take more action. The

government

should increase the salary of workers. Many criminals commit

crimes

because of a lack of money or something. If governments take more action and increase the salaries of workers, it can prevent

crimes

Therefore

, the

government

should take more

actions

to prevent

crime

On the other hand

, little

actions

are

also

important to defend against

crime

. Parents should do little

actions

to avoid

crime

. They should start by themselves and their children take their example. Parents should teach about don't commit

crimes

. They should teach that committing

crimes

is bad and can have very bad consequences. It is

also

important to teach good nature. If people have a good nature and education, they know that committing

crimes

is a bad thing,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

don't commit

crimes

Therefore

, parents should teach education and good nature. In conclusion, there are several reasons why

government

should take more

actions

to avoid

crime

. It can be very useful to do more

actions

to prevent

crime

. There are

also

little

actions

which are can be done. Education can

also

prevent

crime

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Sep 19 2024

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task achievement

Try to better balance your arguments. Your essay leans more toward the side of having less action, but should equally discuss the importance of extensive actions and minor actions. Fully developed main points will greatly improve your persuasiveness.

task achievement

You need to provide more specific examples to support your claims effectively. For instance, details about successful preventative measures in certain regions or statistics on how educational programs have reduced crime rates could be beneficial.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical sequencing of your paragraphs. The transitions between talking about government measures and then family measures are abrupt. A more fluid transition and connection between these points would enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

You have an introduction and a conclusion that frame your essay well.

coherence cohesion

You tackled the issue from two different angles, which gives a good breadth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done.

Fully explain your ideas

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Every country in the world has its own road rules, but many drivers don’t obey them. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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