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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future ,we will have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home amd at work.Discuss thr challenges and benefits this will bring

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Some say that
,
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apply
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leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in the future is increasing rapidly because the machines will do most of people's tasks.
This
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 will have some benefits but it has
also
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 some challenges, I will discuss both of those aspects
further
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. In my opinion, the benefits outweigh the risks by far.
Firstly
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, use of the machines gives much more freedom to the people so they can implement their passion.
Secondly
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, increased
leisure
Use synonyms
time
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 could positively influence individuals,
for example
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, stress levels can drop dramatically.
Thirdly
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, the effect on society can be massive,
for instance
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, humans working
time
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 will be freed up for more demanding tasks.
On the other hand
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, prolonged
leisure
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time
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 could promote laziness among humans,
therefore
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 even the smallest task can break the human. Some can be overwhelmed by uselessness to the point of mental health collapse.
Also
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, diminishing the number of jobs will more likely be a serious problem.
According to
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 the survey conducted by Cambridge
university
Capitalize word
University
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 25% of employees lost their jobs because of technology.
Finally
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, companies can not give more preference to their skilled worker. To summarize, an increase in
leisure
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time
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 among the population
due to
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 the machines can promote
time
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 spent on hobbies.
Also
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, humans could do more demanding tasks more often.
However
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,
this
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also
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 has its flip side, too much free
time
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 can lead to the boredom and uselessness of the individual. In my conclusion, both perspectives have good points but the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The Future is looking good for the human race.

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task achievement
Try to support your main points with relevant and specific examples. For instance, you could mention some existing technologies and how they have already impacted our daily lives.
task achievement
Some parts of the essay lack detailed explanations. Including more details can make the argument stronger and clearer.
coherence cohesion
Although the ideas are logically presented, the essay would benefit from more seamless transitions between points to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. You have clearly stated your opinion.
task achievement
You've presented a balanced view by discussing both benefits and challenges, which aligns well with the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Sentence structure is generally good and ideas are logically structured.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Leisure time
  • Personal growth
  • Job displacement
  • Re-skilling
  • Mental health
  • Economic benefits
  • Inequality
  • Consumer culture
  • Work ethics
  • Technological advancement
  • Societal adaptation
  • Work-life balance
  • Unemployment
  • Environmental impact
  • Policy-making
  • Innovation
  • Social welfare
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