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Writing Samples
Band 7

Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

#tour #areas #community #development #people #environment
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The growing popularity of organized
tours
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 to remote
areas
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 and
communities
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 has sparked debate over its impact.
This
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 essay will explore whether
this
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 trend is a positive or negative development for local people and the
environment
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. On the one hand, organized
tours
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 can bring significant benefits to remote
communities
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.
Tourism
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 often provides a vital source of income for local people, creating jobs and stimulating economic growth in
areas
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 that might
otherwise
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 have limited opportunities.
For example
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, locals may find employment as tour guides, in hospitality, or by selling handmade crafts to
tourists
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.
Additionally
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, exposure to
tourists
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 can lead to the preservation and sharing of cultural heritage, as visitors are often eager to learn about the customs and traditions of the
communities
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 they visit. In some cases,
tourism
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 revenue can
also
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 be reinvested into community development projects, improving infrastructure and access to essential services.
On the other hand
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, there are concerns about the negative impacts of organized
tours
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 on both the
environment
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 and local cultures. The influx of
tourists
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 can put a strain on natural resources, leading to environmental degradation.
For instance
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, increased foot traffic in fragile ecosystems can damage vegetation and wildlife habitats,
while
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 the construction of tourist facilities may lead to deforestation and pollution.
Moreover
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, the commercialization of local cultures to cater to
tourists
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 can result in the loss of authenticity, as traditions may be altered or exaggerated to meet tourist expectations.
This
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 can lead to cultural erosion and a decline in the community’s sense of identity. In conclusion,
while
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 organized
tours
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 to remote
areas
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 can bring economic and cultural benefits to local
communities
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, they
also
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 pose significant risks to the
environment
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 and cultural integrity. It is essential to manage
tourism
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 responsibly to ensure that its positive impacts are maximized
while
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 minimizing potential harm. With careful planning and regulation, the development of
tourism
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 in these
areas
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 can be a positive force for both people and the
environment
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.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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task achievement
Consider giving more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments further. For example, mentioning specific remote areas or communities and how tourism has impacted them positively or negatively can add more depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus. Sometimes, combining multiple ideas in one paragraph can dilute the clarity. Breaking down complex points into simpler, more digestible parts can enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the points discussed.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensive and relevant to the topic, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the potential impacts of tourism on remote areas and communities.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of organized tours, which helps to show a well-rounded understanding of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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