Nowadays children are experiencing increased educational, social and commercial pressure. What are the reasons for this? What can be a solution to reduce the pressure?

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It is fair to say that,
children
are going through a lot of stress nowadays, i.e. in the social, educational, and commercial fields as well. There are various reasons behind
this
pressure which I will explore, before presenting the solutions to
this
issue. As a matter of fact, adults these days expect too much from
children
which puts performance pressure on their minds.
For example
, when the exams are near,
parents
start to force the
children
to study hard and they set targets for
children
, which are sometimes too high to achieve, and
children
go through a lot of stress to meet the expectations of their guardians.
Secondly
, the comparison is always there.
Parents
often compare their wards to their neighbour's
child
or with the relative's
child
, in every aspect like studies, games and competitions etc. It puts the burden on the minds of
children
to do better and make their
parents
happy, even if they are not interested in those fields. Because of
this
, they go through educational and commercial pressure.
Thirdly
, as
children
nowadays are too busy doing school, tuition classes and preparing for competitions they lack social skills as their social interactions are almost zero. In order to solve
this
issue, the
parents
need to understand the needs and interests of their
child
. They should support their
child
if he/she is interested in doing something creative other than studies. They should definitely guide their
child
, but should not force him/her. More importantly,
parents
should stop the comparison between
children
and should understand that each
child
is special in its own way. Guardians should respect the choices made by the
children
and should spend some quality time with the
children
so that, the
children
can share their problems with them. In conclusion, I would say that each
child
should be respected and
parents
should help them to feel comfortable and confident,
instead
of putting stress on their minds. The Government should
also
do some initiatives like yoga fun classes, drama centres, or creative art classes so that
children
can spend some time enjoying their interests and can
also
get relief from mental pressures.
Submitted by sharngadhra53 on

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Task Achievement
To further enhance your Task Response, consider providing more specific examples. For instance, cite studies or data that illustrate how educational and commercial pressures are affecting children today.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Adding linking phrases can help improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the issue and the subsequent paragraphs provide a logical exploration of the reasons and solutions.
Task Achievement
You have provided a balanced viewpoint, focusing both on the reasons for the pressure and the potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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