IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that
students
Use synonyms
 at educational institutions learn better via technology rather than with their
teachers
Use synonyms
. I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because learning via
teachers
Use synonyms
 is more
efffective
Correct your spelling
effective
 because it helps
students
Use synonyms
 to share their learnings and their assessments get proper evaluation.
Teachers
Use synonyms
 are
humen
Correct your spelling
human
 and they deliver lessons mostly in classrooms. Learning with the help of a teacher in a classroom helps
students
Use synonyms
 in different ways. In a classroom,
students
Use synonyms
 have the opportunities to share knowledge and experiences with their
teachers
Use synonyms
 and peers, rectify their mistakes, discuss their problems with their
teachers
Use synonyms
, and become encouraged by seeing the progress of others.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classroom learning is more effective and appropriate than technological learning.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, all educational institutions deliver teaching by human
teachers
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 can directly contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
teachers
Use synonyms
 in the classrooms, if they require any support.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
 can evaluate the assessments and
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 of their
students
Use synonyms
 more appropriately. They not only provide proper feedback to the
students
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
 guidelines about how to correct mistakes, and how to improve. Those
students
Use synonyms
 who are weak
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can get proper attention and guidelines from their
teachers
Use synonyms
 and that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to work on their mistakes.
Teachers
Use synonyms
 advise
students
Use synonyms
 about resubmitting their essays
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
reassess
Wrong verb form
reassessing
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Australia, if any student
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 poor marks
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
assessment
Correct article usage
an assessment
show examples
, it is the duty of the teacher to provide him
proper
Change preposition
with proper
show examples
 attention and support.
To conclude
Linking Words
, learning via
teachers
Use synonyms
 is more appropriate and effective. It helps
students
Use synonyms
 to talk directly with their
teachers
Use synonyms
 in the classrooms.
Students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 get proper evaluation of their assessments and
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improvement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To strengthen the coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Linking phrases or sentences can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and strengthen your task response score.
general
Ensure that spelling and grammatical errors are minimized. For example, 'humen' should be 'humans' and 'get poor marks' should be 'get poor grades'. A few such changes can make your essay appear more polished.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a strong argument against the statement, with a clear position stated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, making it easy for the reader to follow and understand the argument being made.
coherence cohesion
The concluding paragraph neatly summarizes the argument, reinforcing the main points made in the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: