A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trus, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagre with this opinion?
Nowadays,many people think that a
person'sworth
seems to be determined by social status and material possessions. Correct your spelling
person
In contrast
to the wealth of material,old-fashioned values like honour,kindness and trust are disparaged. But is this
really the case? The following are my opinions.
Firstly
, those old- fashion
and excellent values actually not only shape the nature of manCorrect your spelling
old-fashioned
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
answer the question which is what makes man human. It is undeniable that the
social status and Correct article usage
apply
materialpssessions
can bring people the gloss of Correct your spelling
materialism
surface
. Correct article usage
the surface
However
, they may be changed over time but great
character has a lasting and significant impact on people's Add an article
the great
behavor
and Correct your spelling
behaviour
decision
. History is full of great men who are remembered not for their wealth, but for what their personalities contributed to humanity.
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
secondly
, good qualities contributed
to healthy Wrong verb form
contribute
relationship
and social networks. Honesty and integrity are the basis of social trust, without which society would struggle to function. Empathy and kindness help create a more inclusive and harmonious Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
socia
environment. Too much emphasis on material Correct your spelling
social
wealt
may lead to Correct your spelling
wealth
maral
degradation and social problems.
In a word, we should attach importance to all-round development, pursuing not only material Correct your spelling
moral
progess
but Correct your spelling
progress
also
the constraction
of spiritual civilization.Correct your spelling
construction
Submitted by asllchkied on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay does well to present a response to the task by discussing both the importance of traditional values and the overemphasis on social status and material possessions. However, to improve the completeness of the response, try to incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your points.
task achievement
The ideas presented are generally clear, but there are some grammatical and lexical errors that can be distracting. Review your use of vocabulary and sentence structure to ensure clarity and accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more linking phrases to connect the ideas between sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
You have introduced and concluded the essay well, which positively impacts coherence. Work on ensuring each paragraph smoothly leads to the next to create a more seamless and logical flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument clearly.
supported main points
The main points are supported to some extent, showing an understanding of the task's demands.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by examining both the contemporary emphasis on social status/material possessions and the importance of traditional values.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.