In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. what do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved?
In many countries,
people
have numerous health
problems because they lead unhealthy lives. The reasons behind this
problem
is
Change the verb form
are
people
are not health
conscious,
and are not aware of the drawbacks of unhealthy lives. To solve Remove the comma
apply
this
problem
, people
should be health
conscious and should learn to practice a healthy lifestyle
.
People
have a lot of health
problems because they are not health
conscious. They do not like to do physical exercise regularly,
and are not interested in having a balanced Remove the comma
apply
diet
. Rather they love to lead a sedentary lifestyle
and mostly consume unhealthy food. In addition
, people
are not aware of the harmful effects of leading a
unhealthy life. They do not know how Change the article
an
a
unhealthy Change the article
an
lifestyle
effects
their physical and mental well-being. Replace the word
affects
For example
, people
from the USA, before diagnosed
with hypertension do not know how much their unhealthy Add a missing verb
being diagnosed
lifestyle
is responsible for their disease.
To solve this
problem
people
should become health
conscious. If people
are inclined to take care of their health
, they will exercise regularly and have balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
diet
. Furthermore
, healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
lifestyle
is a practice and people
should learn to maintain it. Those who want to lead a healthy lifestyle
,
will make a daily routine, and proper balanced Remove the comma
apply
diet
plan according to
their health
requirements. This
practice will help to improve their health
. For example
, people
in Japan, after maintaining a daily routine and diet
plan has
improved their Correct subject-verb agreement
have
health
a lot.
In conclusion, people
do not like to take care of their health
becuase
they love to lead a sedentary Correct your spelling
because
lifestyle
and eat unhealthy food. People
should be health
conscious and lead a routined
life to solve Correct your spelling
routine
this
problem
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task response
To strengthen your response, you could provide more concrete examples or statistical evidence to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of ideas and terms. For instance, the phrase 'health conscious' is repeated several times. Using synonyms or rephrasing can improve readability and show a wider range of vocabulary.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors such as 'a healthy life' instead of 'an unhealthy life' and 'a daily routine' instead of 'routined life.' These small improvements can make a big difference.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized and flow logically from one to the next. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
You have addressed both the reasons for unhealthy lifestyles and the solutions, which shows a complete response to the essay question.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?