In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. what do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved?

In many countries,
people
have numerous
health
problems because they lead unhealthy lives. The reasons behind
this
problem
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
people
are not
health
conscious
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and are not aware of the drawbacks of unhealthy lives. To solve
this
problem
,
people
should be
health
conscious and should learn to practice a healthy
lifestyle
.
People
have a lot of
health
problems because they are not
health
conscious. They do not like to do physical exercise regularly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and are not interested in having a balanced
diet
. Rather they love to lead a sedentary
lifestyle
and mostly consume unhealthy food.
In addition
,
people
are not aware of the harmful effects of leading
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unhealthy life. They do not know how
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unhealthy
lifestyle
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
their physical and mental well-being.
For example
,
people
from the USA, before
diagnosed
Add a missing verb
being diagnosed
show examples
with hypertension do not know how much their unhealthy
lifestyle
is responsible for their disease. To solve
this
problem
people
should become
health
conscious. If
people
are inclined to take care of their
health
, they will exercise regularly and have
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
diet
.
Furthermore
,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
is a practice and
people
should learn to maintain it. Those who want to lead a healthy
lifestyle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will make a daily routine, and proper balanced
diet
plan
according to
their
health
requirements.
This
practice will help to improve their
health
.
For example
,
people
in Japan, after maintaining a daily routine and
diet
plan
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
improved their
health
a lot. In conclusion,
people
do not like to take care of their
health
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
they love to lead a sedentary
lifestyle
and eat unhealthy food.
People
should be
health
conscious and lead a
routined
Correct your spelling
routine
show examples
life to solve
this
problem
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
To strengthen your response, you could provide more concrete examples or statistical evidence to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of ideas and terms. For instance, the phrase 'health conscious' is repeated several times. Using synonyms or rephrasing can improve readability and show a wider range of vocabulary.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors such as 'a healthy life' instead of 'an unhealthy life' and 'a daily routine' instead of 'routined life.' These small improvements can make a big difference.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized and flow logically from one to the next. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
You have addressed both the reasons for unhealthy lifestyles and the solutions, which shows a complete response to the essay question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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