Some people think that the best way to motivate employees to work hard is to pay them high salaries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employees' job satisfaction has long been considered a significant factor in an organization's growth. Many people believe that an effective way to encourage workers is by paying them decent wages.
This
essay partly agrees with
this
statement, as there are some at least
as
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apply
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significant factors that drive employees. To commence with,
although
a well-paid job is quite inspiring for staff members,
yet
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workers always seek admiration for their duty. Every person working in the organization longs for self-esteem and to be appreciated for his work, regardless of his designation. Sometimes, appreciation triggers operators and attendants more than providing high salaries to them. To illustrate
this
, general team members in a firm are mostly motivated by positive words in regard to their work, which push them to give their best. A recent study has found that it is actually the
behavior
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behaviour
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of managers and executives that stimulates
laborers
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labourers
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to utilize their abilities in the most effective way.
Moreover
, giving incentives to staff in the form of medical insurance, pensions, annual vacation packages, and a car proves more rewarding than higher monthly pay. Many industries today include different inducements which work as a catalyst to workers' productivity.
For instance
, in a densely populated area, where the public transport system is not a convenient mode of commuting, providing a better transport amenity
such
as a car reduces travel frustrations and stirs up the working bodies to give the best output. In a nutshell, a decent salary package is not sufficient for employees, as they desire self-respect and amenities from recruiters in an effort to keep them motivated and stay longer.
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task achievement
To improve task response, provide a clearer stance in the introduction, elaborating whether you agree or disagree. This helps in creating a strong thesis statement and sets a clear direction for your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that every argument is fully developed with explanations and examples. The essay can benefit from discussing counterpoints to further strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, use more transitional phrases to clearly indicate the relationships between your ideas. This makes it easier for readers to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively. For example, start paragraphs with topic sentences that clearly relate to the thesis statement.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The main points are supported well and are relevant to the topic, making your argument persuasive.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial incentive
  • tangible reward
  • productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • attract top talent
  • retain employees
  • turnover rates
  • monetary compensation
  • job satisfaction
  • professional growth
  • work-life balance
  • non-monetary benefits
  • recognition
  • positive work environment
  • career advancement
  • employee loyalty
  • employee disengagement
  • transactional relationship
  • company's goals and values
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