In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home

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In recent times,
children
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are spending a fewer
time
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with their families and more
time
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with their peers.
This
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happens because
parents
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are more busier with their
work
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these days than in the past. So,
children
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cannot spend
time
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with them. I believe that
parents
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should not force their
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
to spend more
time
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with them
instead
Linking Words
they should effectively
balance
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their
work
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and
life
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and give
time
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at
home
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, which will motivate their
children
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to spend
time
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with them. These days,
parents
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of many
children
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are busier than in the past. The majority of both
parents
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of
children
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are working persons and career-oriented. Most of them have busy
work
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schedules and struggle to
balance
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work
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and
life
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, they cannot manage enough
time
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to spend with their families and
children
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.
Therefore
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,
children
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cannot have their
parents
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to spend
time
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with them.
For example
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, in Bangladesh, especially in urban areas, both
parents
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are working up to 8 to 10 hours a day, and
therefore
Linking Words
,
children
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sometimes even cannot meet with their
parents
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every day. I contend that
parents
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should not force their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
to spend
time
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at
home
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because it will have a detrimental effect on the relationships of
children
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and
parents
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. If both
parents
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are busy with their
work
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outside,
children
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will not be interested in staying at
home
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and expect to spend
time
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with them.
Parents
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should properly
balance
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their
work
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and
life
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, which will allow them to manage
time
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for their
children
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. If
this
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happens,
children
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will become encouraged to spend
time
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with their
parents
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan, many
parents
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generally
work
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5 to 7 hours a day and some
work
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part-
time
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
helps them to find
time
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for their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
and spend with them. In conclusion,
children
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spend
time
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with their friends, not with their
parents
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because
parents
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are busy these days.
Children
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should not be forced to spend
time
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at
home
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rather
parents
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should
balance
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their
work
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and
life
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and spend
time
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with their
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence
Ensure consistent verb tense usage.
task achievement
Proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement.
coherence
Clarify minor language inaccuracies for clarity.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents the reasons for this trend and offers a reasonable opinion on the matter.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and encapsulate the main points effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the situation in Bangladesh and Japan, are relevant and support the main arguments well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic commitments
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Technology and social media
  • Peer acceptance
  • Independence
  • Family dynamics
  • Cultural norms
  • Individualism
  • Parental enforcement
  • Family bonds
  • Social development
  • Autonomy versus guidance
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