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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the amount of financial aid that four nations received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the amount of financial aid that four nations received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #amount #aid #four #nations #money #information #features #comparisons
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The Table displays how much money was distributed as
support
Use synonyms
 to four countries including China, Indonesia, Thailand, and South Africa in 1974 and 2014. The bar graph illustrates the way financial
support
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 was spent in the same years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 money
support
Use synonyms
 in these four nations shrunk in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three categories: catering, medicine, and finance. 
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1974 South Africa received the largest financial
support
Use synonyms
 with 65
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, followed by China with 62
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. The figures for Indonesia and Thailand were 55
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 and 48
million
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dollars
Use synonyms
, respectively. Forty years later, the amount for China plummeted sharply to 6
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Thailand
also
Linking Words
 fell by 30 
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, Indonesia and South Africa experienced roughly
25
Correct article usage
a 25
show examples
% decrease each.  Regarding the categories of financial
support
Use synonyms
, in 1974, medicine was supported the most with 80
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, and the figures for catering and finance were 70
million
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dollars
Use synonyms
 each. In 2014, The most significant drop was observed in catering by 45%,
while
Linking Words
 medicine and finance declined by 20% and 5%, respectively.
Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words support, million, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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