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Band 3.5

Road accidents have become one of the biggest causes of fatalities nowadays. What are the causes of such accidents? How can this problem be dealt with?

#road #accidents #fatalities
Nowadays, the main cause of misfortunes is travel accidents. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the arguments that support the main advantages and disadvantages of the whole. A large number of people become a sacrifice in
road
 crashes. There is a
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of donors to traffic accidents,
such
 as bad driving habits, drunk steering, violation of essential rules, and
also
 poor
road
 conditions.
Also
, the presence of fatigue in a person can lead to
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 breakdowns. More importantly, inferior weather conditions often account for numerous viatical collapses.
Additionally
, a shortage or lack of law enforcement
also
 causes a large number of emergencies. The best way to reduce a broad range of accidents is to provide everything possible to prevent
this
 in the future. The gauge to diminish a considerable amount of mischance is to redesign and reshape wretched roads. Not only altering ill
road
 state but
also
 equipping itineraries and streets with necessary facilities including putting up more
road
 signs, installing speed control devices, and providing more speed bumps and humps.
Finally
, some preventive programs involve making less car insurance, toughening driving laws, treating law-breakers more harshly, and revoking the delinquents' driving licenses.
Overall
, highway faults make a heaps of disasters day by day. There are multiple aspects of how we can stop it and what we can do to avert a dozen
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
.
Submitted by halilova039 on

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task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the question fully. While many causes of road accidents were mentioned, some key reasons were overlooked. It is essential to provide a more balanced discussion.
task achievement
Develop each point with greater detail and include more relevant examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and reflective of a higher band score.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words effectively to make your ideas flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth and logical progression in your essay. Pay attention to the logical structure. Make sure each paragraph builds on the previous one coherently.
task achievement
You have correctly identified some significant causes of road accidents like bad driving habits and poor road conditions as well as possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, both of which are important components.
task achievement
There is an attempt to discuss both the causes and solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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