In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #childhood #obesity #individuals #governments

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In

this

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

hyper-advancing globalisation era, fast

food

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has become

an

Change the article

apply

It appears that the article an is unnecessary before the adjective integral. Consider making a change.

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integral in human life. The relentless pursuit of advertisements from fast

food

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

chains has caused citizens to be pulled into a pool of unhealthy delicious

food

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

This

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has exacerbated the rate of

obesity

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, especially among

children

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. Inevitably,

this

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

caused a substantial increase in the mortality rate

due to

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

obesity

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

Conversely

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is integral for individuals and the government of a country to avert and eradicate the root cause of

obesity

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

before it turns fatal. Right off the bat, the ignorance of

food

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intake towards

children

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's health by parents has led to malnutrition and

obesity

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

This

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

nonchalant behaviour has caused

children

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to be picky with

food

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, only having

food

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containing vibrant colours and high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol.

Therefore

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, parents should be well aware and persuade their kids to have a balanced meal consisting of carbohydrates, protein, vitamins, and fibre in proportionate amounts.

This

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will prevent the youth from struggling with

such

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

diseases.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,

school

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

canteens worldwide are serving students with cheap unhealthy

food

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

selections. It is a devilish myopic approach to earn more money without weighing the dietary plan most

children

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to stay healthy and bright for

school

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

Therefore

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the health administrator should urge public and private schools to follow a strict dietary meal plan to ensure a healthier lifestyle.

For instance

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, health ministers should do monthly revisions and analyses of the

school

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's

food

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

consumption to tackle the root cause of

obesity

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at the

school

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

level. In conclusion, the world requires its people to have a paradigm shift in their thoughts to tackle the crux of

obesity

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A substantial change in approach is needed to allow our younger generation to grow into a healthy being and avoid catching non-communicable diseases in order to live a happier life.

lishaanatalieSat Sep 21 2024

task achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both the reasons for childhood obesity and potential solutions. However, incorporating more specific examples would strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a logical flow throughout your essay. While the logical structure is good, some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-organized, double-check for minor language inaccuracies and aim for clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader effectively. This will bolster both coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, clearly outlining the issue and summarizing your points effectively.

task achievement

The main points you presented are relevant and substantial. You have thoroughly addressed both the causes and potential solutions to childhood obesity, which is commendable.

task achievement

The essay shows a clear understanding of the topic and presents comprehensive ideas logically, making it easy to follow and understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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