The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is vitally important that certain scientific methods should make the quality of life become better. In
this
essay, I firmly agree with
this
viewpoint in terms of improving public transport and communication. One primary reason is that science can help transit be developed more comprehensively, thereby making the public more convenient.
For instance
, after technological breakthroughs, public transport
such
as MRT, High-speed railways and aeroplanes have been constructed maturely. These transportation provide multi-faceted choices for individuals
as well as
assist them in saving considerable time during their commuting or travelling.
Furthermore
, they can pay more attention to other items
such
as business and family,
then
receive healthier physical and mental well-being, and ultimately enhance their quality of life.
Consequently
, these benefits can indeed propel humans' lives. Another crucial aspect is that science can substantially alleviate the barriers, which come from communication.
This
is because the internet provides the function for communicating instantaneity, especially after intelligent devices were created.
For example
, Steve Jobs, the first CEO of Apple, created the first iPhone.
This
not only presents its powerful software functions but
also
significantly addresses the problems of communication as it contains,
such
as Facebook, line, and other various apps to message.
Moreover
, in contemporary times, Google company even establishes a face-to-face function on Google Meets, thereby increasing the efficiency of messaging.
Consequently
, with these technological products, it is unsurprising that individuals will be more effective when they exchange information. In summary, these scientific measures indeed aim to improve people's lives, particularly in transit and conversation immediately. With these improvements, I firmly believe that the development of humans can be more convenient, rapid, and holistic.
Submitted by daniellin0717 on

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear and relevant answer to the question. However, you can strengthen your argument by discussing potential counterpoints or acknowledging other possible aims of science. This will add depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is quite well-organized, pay attention to transitions between paragraphs. You can use more varied linking words to enhance the flow from one idea to another.
task achievement
You provided specific and relevant examples to support your points, such as the mention of MRT, high-speed railways, and Steve Jobs' contribution to communication technology.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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