Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #buildings #houses #cities

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The ushering of redevelopment of old

buildings

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has been urged by the citizens of every

country

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. It is an ideological approach to facilitate modernisation in an emerging

country

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to capture the attention worldwide.

However

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this

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strategy has been condemned by a number of people who believe that

this

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agenda is ignorant towards the history and significance of the old

buildings

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Therefore

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, I stand by my belief that we should

further

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protect these

buildings

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from devilish planning. Right off the bat, the primary driver that causes people to usher for reconstruction is that maintaining artefacts of construction is costly. Truthfully, knocking down walls is a myopic approach that requires less intellectual acuity and manpower to combat

this

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issue.

For instance

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, a construction agency is more likely to utilise machinery to knock down

buildings

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and build new ones from scratch, than to redesign structures to strengthen old commodities. Inevitably,

this

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will significantly alter the site of residential areas, cities, sub-urban and rural areas.

Conversely

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, others concentrate exclusively on the historic and sentimental values a building holds towards their

country

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For instance

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, the National Merdeka Stadium of Malaysia was to be demolished by the government to build a greater complex for economic growth.

However

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, the citizens of Malaysia were raged out by the announcement and

subsequently

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protested to protect their historical culture.

Moreover

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, It is an insult to the

country

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to take down a national artefact for the sake of modern civilisation, as a civilisation without a historical foundation is ignorant. In conclusion, I predominantly believe that the pervasive thoughts of remodelling to align the

country

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with globalisation should be curbed immediately.

Nonetheless

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, an intervention is paramount towards those with shallow thinking, as conserving artifactual monuments can be addressed by a multifaceted approach with a collaboration between individuals and the government.

Submitted by lishaanatalie on Sat Sep 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the clarity and coherence, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Also, make sure each paragraph has a single main point which is developed and supported with relevant examples.

task achievement

While your essay provides a balanced view, you could enhance task response by using more varied and specific examples to support your points. This would make your argument more convincing.

task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both perspectives and provides a clear opinion, fullfilling the task requirements well.

coherence cohesion

You have a good command of language and use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary effectively.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

paramount
evolutionary journey
tangible link
fostering
sense of belonging
architectural beauty
economic benefit
tourist attractions
preservation techniques
structural integrity
energy-efficient
sustainable architecture
cultural preservation
urban demands
contemporary lifestyles

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