Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
The ushering of redevelopment of old
buildings
has been urged by the citizens of every country
. It is an ideological approach to facilitate modernisation in an emerging country
to capture the attention worldwide. However
, this
strategy has been condemned by a number of people who believe that this
agenda is ignorant towards the history and significance of the old buildings
. Therefore
, I stand by my belief that we should further
protect these buildings
from devilish planning.
Right off the bat, the primary driver that causes people to usher for reconstruction is that maintaining artefacts of construction is costly. Truthfully, knocking down walls is a myopic approach that requires less intellectual acuity and manpower to combat this
issue. For instance
, a construction agency is more likely to utilise machinery to knock down buildings
and build new ones from scratch, than to redesign structures to strengthen old commodities. Inevitably, this
will significantly alter the site of residential areas, cities, sub-urban and rural areas.
Conversely
, others concentrate exclusively on the historic and sentimental values a building holds towards their country
. For instance
, the National Merdeka Stadium of Malaysia was to be demolished by the government to build a greater complex for economic growth. However
, the citizens of Malaysia were raged out by the announcement and subsequently
protested to protect their historical culture. Moreover
, It is an insult to the country
to take down a national artefact for the sake of modern civilisation, as a civilisation without a historical foundation is ignorant.
In conclusion, I predominantly believe that the pervasive thoughts of remodelling to align the country
with globalisation should be curbed immediately. Nonetheless
, an intervention is paramount towards those with shallow thinking, as conserving artifactual monuments can be addressed by a multifaceted approach with a collaboration between individuals and the government.Submitted by lishaanatalie on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the clarity and coherence, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Also, make sure each paragraph has a single main point which is developed and supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
While your essay provides a balanced view, you could enhance task response by using more varied and specific examples to support your points. This would make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both perspectives and provides a clear opinion, fullfilling the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
You have a good command of language and use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary effectively.