More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

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An increasing
number
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of people from developing nations are making their first car purchases. The principal
problems
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this
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causes are
pollution
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and traffic congestion, and the most viable solution is better public transport. The primary issue developing countries face when their citizens start to buy
cars
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is increased
pollution
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.
This
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occurs
as a result
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of the rise in toxic emissions expelled by
cars
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in the form of exhaust gases. The greater
number
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of vehicles on the road is
also
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responsible for a rise in traffic jams.
This
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is because roads that were built for bikes or a limited
number
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of
cars
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are now liable to be clogged with a line of vehicles during peak times.
For example
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, most roads in Ho Chi Minh City were built to carry bikes only, but now there are up to 5,000 new
cars
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added to the streets a month, and it now takes up to half an hour to travel one kilometre within the city centre. A solution to these
problems
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is to build a sustainable public transport system.
This
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would solve the
problems
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by taking most people off the roads and onto either an underground train or a train that runs above the road, and both of these options cause less
pollution
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than
cars
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. As traffic
problems
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and
pollution
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increase, most people will become frustrated and decide to either sell their car or only use it when absolutely necessary.
This
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is why Ho Chi Minh City is currently building their first metro line and sky train, similar to Bangkok’s, and these are projected to reduce journey times and
pollution
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by up to 50% when they are completed. In conclusion, the main
problems
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with the rise in the
number
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of motor vehicles in developing countries are rising
pollution
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and congestion, but these can be addressed through modern public transport infrastructure.
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task achievement
Overall, your essay addresses the topic well and provides clear and comprehensive ideas. However, consider adding more specific examples or statistical data to make your arguments even more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have a good logical structure and your essay flows well. To improve, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next and maybe add more linking words or phrases to further enhance the flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for what will be discussed, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
supported main points
You have supported your main points well with relevant examples and details, making your arguments more credible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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