Some people think we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Could you discuss both views and give your opinion?
It is under discussion by a group of
people
who believe it is better to change the infrastructure of old buildings
into a new design. Whereas
, other says that preserving the old heritage is of great importance. However
, in my opinion, it is advantageous if we save our old buildings
because it helps boost the economy and helps us to remember our cultural values. I will discuss both views in my essay below.
Firstly
, the people
who want to modify the previous structure
into a new one because of aesthetics, and safety. Therefore
, individuals focus on new styles because it is more appealing and in small areas, we can build huge buildings
with a greater number of facilities. Likewise
, in Dubai the largest building is constructed named "Burj Khalifa" which is the main attraction for several folks. So, a lot of people
from all over the world come and visit this
place. Secondly
, it looks more appealing their approach is much better than the old building. For example
, due to
overcrowding in urban areas, constructors start to develop many more houses with a great number of facilities in that they cover all the commodities under one roof.
On the other hand
, few individuals oppose the above notion and say it is good to preserve the old structure
and do renovation. As it is linked with our history, and cultural values is considered to be the best source for many countries to make their financial status strong. Most of the nations including Turkey, Morocco, and London also
preserve their history keep their old building as it is, and do maintenance regularly to stay safe from any dangers. As with time, the old buildings
start losing their strength but keeping an eye on every aspect and looking after them can save their structure
as well as
increase the economy. Many tourists want to visit such
places to explore and learn about the histories of their ancestors what happened how they became an
independent nations. In London, many Correct article usage
apply
buildings
are still in their structure
and many people
want to visit them and capture that building it shows their culture which is the best part.
In conclusion, it is good to keep ourselves updated and live a luxurious life according to
new styles and with new developments. But to preserve the old structure
hit differently because "old is gold". It is an asset to its economy and shows its cultural significance. Therefore
, in my view, it is far better to preserve the old forms of buildings
rather than develop them into new ones.Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on
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coherence
This essay contains several relevant ideas and examples, making your arguments clear. However, it could benefit from more explicit linking phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, some sentences are a bit repetitive and could be combined or rephrased for better fluidity.
task achievement
While the essay responds to the task well, there are areas where more detail would enhance the depth of the discussion. Try to balance both sides more evenly and provide more comprehensive arguments for each view. Also, consider expanding your own opinion with more supporting points.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, which helps frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples like the Burj Khalifa and references to cities like London enriches your essay and makes your argument more tangible.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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