Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
Studying or working abroad is increasingly trending among most youngsters.
This
type of behaviour is driven by too much competition in their native countries and a search for better
life in foreign nations. Add an article
a better
This
essay suggests that this
trend is positive because it helps them advance in their career.
Countries that witness students moving abroad for studies and work
, typically have a very high population but have less
Change the quantifier
fewer
opportunities
, resulting in a very competitive society. Often in such
cases, a number of people
fight for one position. Therefore
, the rejected candidates look towards foreign shores, where the opportunities
are more. Once they complete their university programs in a different country the chances of getting a higher salary compared to their native country also
increases
, the same goes for professionals looking for Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
work
opportunities
outside. As a result
, they get to experience better living standards when they migrate. For example
, more native people
from South-East Asia are migrating to Western countries like the USA, the UK and Canada for better education and improving their personal finances.
Further
, this
also
helps build their career in a better way. There are vast
number of Change the article
a vast
the vast
opportunities
and vacancies that are waiting to be filled by immigrants. Foreign education or work
ultimately opens up a world of possibilities for many young people
who are willing to do the necessary work
to fill these roles. They receive international experience, which can improve their resume and also
increase a
chance of negotiating higher salaries compared to their home nations. Correct article usage
the
For instance
, Indians often travel to the USA on F1B Visas to earn in
dollars for a few years to improve their financial health. In my opinion, Change preposition
apply
this
is a positive situation for those young people
who are choosing to do so.
In conclusion, youngsters are increasingly moving abroad to pursue their education or employment. I believe that this
situation is positive because it increases their chances of more
fulfilling life Correct article usage
a more
due to
less competition with respect to the available opportunities
, and at the same time helps in their career advancement.Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a solid structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, work on fine-tuning your logical flow between points for clarity.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, make sure each paragraph has only one main idea and that this idea is expanded and supported effectively before moving to the next point.
task achievement
Address counterarguments to provide a more well-rounded analysis. Doing so shows the depth of your understanding and strengthens your main argument.
task achievement
Vary your sentence structure to enhance readability and demonstrate a higher level of writing proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage well by clearly stating the issue and your stance on it.
task achievement
You include specific examples, such as the migration of South-East Asians to Western countries, which solidify your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay succinctly and ties back to your main points, reinforcing your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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