In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is irrefutable that transportation systems are increasing day by day in different countries where some say that it is necessary to fund a large amount of
money
on building new
rail
lines
for fast journeys
whereas
some believe that the
money
should be spent on rejuvenating public transport which is already existed in the country. I shall give my viewpoints with reason in the next paragraphs. Before making a decision regarding new railway
lines
, the government should focus on improving current transport which can make people's journey comfortable by adding extra
buses
or trains to the schedule. To add to it, by having more
buses
or trains in the places, it means less crowd in the transport which will make the long journey relaxable for commuters.
Moreover
, the
City
municipal can start
buses
for handicapped or elderly age groups which can make their commute smoother and
overall
, smooth
travel
can raise the number of travellers.
For example
, since AMC has introduced new
buses
in the
city
, the number of passengers has increased. Constructing new
rail
lines
is not a bad idea and even, and it is needed in between the cities for fast travelling. Because some people
travel
from one
city
to another
city
for their or study, the federal should spend some
money
to build new
rail
lines
that can help commuters save time
as well as
money
.
For instance
, In Mumbai, people had to
travel
long journeys by changing
buses
then
taxies and
then
they were able to reach their destinations
whereas
, since the Mumbai corporation has built new
rail
in between the
city
, it has become easy for them to make
travel
easy and time-saving.
Tu
Correct your spelling
To
show examples
put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, the government should focus on both sides. But before allocating the
money
, they should identify first what is required in the
city
.
Submitted by ap064911 on

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grammar
Work on improving grammar and sentence construction. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures that affect readability. For example, instead of 'where some say that it is necessary to fund a large amount of money on building new rail lines,' it would be better to say 'with some arguing that it is necessary to spend a large amount of money on constructing new rail lines.'
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. In some parts of the essay, the main points and examples could be more closely related to strengthen your argument.
task response
Try to provide more balanced treatment of both views before giving your own opinion. The second view regarding constructing new rail lines needs a bit more elaboration.
task response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and offers a clear opinion in the conclusion.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, outlining the main points of the discussion.
supported main points
Relevant examples are provided to support the points being made, which helps to clarify the arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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