IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others sy it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give yto our opinion.

#people #residents #streets #sy #government’s #responsibility #yto
It is considered by some that the
duty
 to keep the cleanliness and sanitation of an area falls upon the
people
 living there,
whereas
 some argue that it is the work of national councils.
Although
 the country has some
duty
 to maintain sanitation, I believe that the local
people
also
 need to take part in
this
.
To begin
 with, the authorities have a massive resource and budget to counter the problems regarding hygiene. With the taxes going towards the country, a flexible amount of resources should be allocated towards communities.
Moreover
, they can
also
 create an appropriate law and policy revolving around
such
 matters and effectively implement it, like deciding on a fine if someone throws their garbage out in the open.
Therefore
,
due to
this
 power of the
government
, it is naturally hoped by some that the related authority ought to participate in the cleanliness of a society.
On the other hand
, the involvement of local inhabitants
also
 has a significant role in keeping the areas hygienic. Since the direct parties of that area are the
people
 who are living in it, it is easier for them to enforce the factors which contribute to the well-being of the community than the
government
.
Furthermore
, it is more feasible and sustainable if the residents have a sense of
duty
, as they will be less likely to pollute the environment themselves.
For instance
, locals who have a sense of
duty
 towards the prosperity of their living areas are more likely to keep their surroundings clean irrespective of the
government
's help
while
 some cannot keep their area clean even with the help of concerned councils. To sum it all up,
government
 can take various steps towards keeping the country clean and aid in sanitation but it will not be effective until and unless the local
people
 get involved themselves in
such
 acts.
Thus
, the combined efforts of both parties can be much more influential in keeping the community in a pristine condition.
Submitted by az09jimzz on

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coherence
Strengthen transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow.
task
Cite additional specific examples or statistics to bolster arguments.
cohesion
Improve lexical resource with more varied vocabulary.
introduction conclusion present
Clear and well-organized introduction and conclusion.
complete response
Addresses both viewpoints comprehensively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are clearly expressed, making it easy to follow the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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