IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

If a product is good and meets customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#product #customer #people
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The debate over whether advertising is unnecessary if the goods meet customer satisfaction or not is a prominent one. In my point of view,
while
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 it can not be denied that good quality
products
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 will lead to continuous purchases of the buyers, I believe advertising is an essential tool that
brands
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 should apply in
order
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 to promote their
products
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 widely.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons to support my statement.
To begin
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 with, an advertisement is one of the best promotional tools in the world. It is a way to raise awareness and visibility to
customers
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 that
brands
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 are still unreached. Having a handful of good
products
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 without people realizing their existence is useless.
Therefore
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, advertisements should be promoted in
order
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 to tell people about
brands
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’ existence
as well as
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 the product's description without hyping.
In addition
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, high-quality advertisement influences brand identity. With ads spreading all over televisions and social media, the
products
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 and
brands
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 will be memorized and create a permanent customer base, ensuring a continuous and evolving connection. Even global
brands
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 with a range of
customers
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such
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 as Chanel need them in
order
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 to convey their message on
products
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 and collections to their
customers
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.
Furthermore
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, product presenters starred in the advertising are
also
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 crucial in
order
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 to drag a diverse customer segment to put interest towards
products
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.
This
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 will lead to significant growth in brand recognition and revenue. In conclusion,
while
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 the quality of goods is crucial in
order
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 to keep continuous purchases of the
customers
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, I disagree that advertising is unnecessary and believe that it is crucial to promote
brand's
Correct article usage
the brand's
show examples
 identity, visibility and evolving connection with its
customers
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, leading to a magnificent growth of the
brands
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.
Submitted by bellchatpavee on

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task achievement
Consider using specific data or study references to substantiate your points even further. This can enhance the strength of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Remember to use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure that your essay flows well and is easy to read.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and word choice issues to make your essay smoother and more professional.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and has a clear structure, including a strong introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided a comprehensive response to the prompt, effectively addressing the necessity of advertising despite good product quality.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Chanel, adds credibility to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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