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Band 4.5

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

#intelligence #drive #cars #development
These days some
cars
 use artificial intelligence (AI) to
drive
 themselves,
this
 is
due to
 the that technology has been developed throughout past
years
, and
this
 should be a positive change because it helps a lot of
people
 particularly
people
 with disabilities and makes their lives easier. companies
begin
Wrong verb form
have begun
show examples
 to rely on AI in multiple ways, and
cars
 ar e one of these methods. The development of technology throughout past
years
 has given us a lot of benefits from
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 to auto-
cars
 that
drive
 themselves,
for example
, Tesla
cars
 are one of the biggest results of artificial intelligence impact in modern days, they use AI to
drive
people
 automatically. In the
last
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
,
cars
 have been driven by artificial intelligence.
Cars
 driven by AI should be welcomed because it helps the community and that's by helping disabilities
people
, in the past disabled
people
 were not capable of driving
cars
 and they needed their own drivers and that's may make them feel that they were unwanted in the community but with the develop in AI now they can
drive
 their own
cars
, blindness
people
for example
 nowadays they drove their own
cars
 with fully depend on AI,
also
 recent study have proved that there are disabled
people
 who work as drivers these days. In conclusion, AI being used to
drive
cars
 is a result of advancements in technology over the past
years
 and it must be welcomed
developed
Correct word choice
and developed
show examples
due to
 the advantages that it gives us.
Submitted by zakiahanafy1 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring each paragraph has a clear and distinct main point, and link ideas logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Develop each main point more thoroughly with supporting arguments and specific examples. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
language
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance overall readability.
task achievement
Expand the conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in the essay and possibly present future implications of AI in driving.
task achievement
The essay presents a relevant topic and provides a clear opinion on it.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is present and wraps up the discussion.
task achievement
The essay provides some specific examples, such as the mention of Tesla cars, to support its points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • autonomous vehicles
  • traffic management
  • route optimization
  • human error
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • convenience
  • elderly
  • disabled individuals
  • job displacement
  • logistics
  • transportation
  • implementation
  • maintenance
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