IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Public transport is essential but problematic. Describe some of problems connected to public transport and suggest some solutions.

#transport
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It is undeniable that public transport is the answer for anyone who does not want to become a car owner and wants to travel around easily.
However
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, the problems they cause sometimes give us irritations
due to
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 their delay and uncleanness. In the following paragraphs, both problems and solutions will be outlined. There are mainly two issues that are the reasons people decide to avoid public transportation systems.
Firstly
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, the delay and their arrival time, all workers in the cities do not want to start the day at work by getting complaints from their supervisors even if they are standing at the station in time but their vehicles still do not come.
Secondly
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, as we can see some of the buses or trains are really old and they emit a lot of dust and pollution when we are trying to reduce the pollution of our earth. It makes us change our minds and turn back from them. Authorities should manage the arrival time because now we have advancements in technology
such
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 as surveillance cameras and artificial intelligence (AI). They should build some programs or mobile phone applications which calculate the remaining distances and the number of cars on the road together.
Moreover
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, they need to maintain and check the engine regularly and clean inside the vehicle
such
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 as chairs, bars, handles and so on. The outlook of it
also
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 a main part that they need to focus on as it is the first thing passengers can notice.
According to
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 the information mentioned above, it can be concluded that the problems of local transport are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
delay, uncleanness and unsanitary, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 should be solved by providing well-designed applications and taking good care of the engines.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your discussion points to prepare the reader for the content. Your introduction did well in presenting the topic but could more explicitly forecast the main issues and solutions you will discuss.
Task achievement
To improve task achievement, try to provide more specific examples or data to back up your claims. For instance, citing studies or statistics related to delays and the environmental impact of old vehicles would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to enhance clarity and coherence. Although your essay is logically structured, smoother transitions between paragraphs can help maintain the flow of ideas and make your argument more cohesive.
Task achievement
Consider expanding on your solutions by exploring their potential impacts more fully. Discussing the expected outcomes of implementing technology and maintenance improvements could provide a more robust discussion.
Coherence and cohesion
You have provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in reader comprehension.
Task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic directly and discusses both problems and solutions related to public transport, which aligns well with the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions
  • inequality
  • congestion
  • economic feasibility
  • subsidies
  • infrastructure
  • overcrowding
  • commute
  • incentivize
  • service quality
  • reinvest
  • equitable access
  • fiscal responsibility
  • peak hours
  • public subsidy
  • taxpayer burden
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