The given table illustrates the data about the independent films released in the UK and the republic of Ireland based on the category of movies in the year 2012.

The given table illustrates the data about the independent films released in the UK and the republic of Ireland based on the category of movies in the year 2012.
The table describes how many movies of different genres were released in the 2012 year's Independent Films Festival in the UK and the Republic of Ireland. In general, there were a total of 148 various kinds of videos shared in the festival.
According to
research in 2012, Drama and Documentary took up the equivalent number of released movies, followed by Comedy (26) and
then
Horror (14).
On the contrary
, concerning
sales
, Comedy accounted for by far the most earnings among other categories with 45.4% of income.
Next,
the second largest
sales
were Horror movies making up 20.2% of tickets.
Moreover
, despite publishing many dramas and documentaries, their
sales
were as little as 8.3%, and 2.9% of the total profit. Regarding the Biopic,
although
there was only one film, it was ranked in third place for the
sales
of tickets, which made 9.1% of the profit.
Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • independent films
  • categories
  • released
  • notable differences
  • trends
  • overall patterns
  • specific numbers
  • analyze
  • popular
  • themes
  • less likely
  • explored
  • independent cinema
  • significant disparities
  • data analysis
  • terminology
  • genres
  • descriptive terms
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