The bar chart compares seven various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

The bar chart compares seven various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.
The bar chart illustrates 7 materials, that require
water
sources from ground or public supply.
Overall
, the
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
is mostly utilized for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chemicals
Change the noun form
chemical
show examples
production, surpassing all other aspects. Meanwhile, public supply is used the least in the textiles and fuel manufacturing and reused the most in the
chemicals
again.
Firstly
, fuel, textiles and machinery are made with the lowest amount of aqua, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rates of lower than 120 million cubic meters, for both underground and people categories. More interestingly, paper production has
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
times larger demand for natural
water
rather than the one for the general public.
Secondly
, the factories, that consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good numbers of H2O, are food/drinks, metal and
chemicals
aspects. Food/drinks rates are pretty reasonable, as practically all of our meals contain
water
. Metal production,
on the other hand
, has
a massive ratings
Correct the article-noun agreement
a massive rating
massive ratings
show examples
of over 300 million cubic meters.
Lastly
, the factory, that requires the natural liquid with the highest inquiry, is the
chemicals
, with each of the
water
sources having more than 200 trillion
liters
Change the spelling
litres
show examples
of aqua utilized.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, chemicals with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: