IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think thatonline reading materials are better for children. others argues that traditional paper based on resources are better.

#people #thatonline #materials #children #paper #resources
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The debate between online reading materials and traditional paper-based
resources
 for
children
 has supporters on
both
 sides. Each option offers unique benefits and drawbacks. Online reading materials provide easy access to a wide range of content and often include interactive features
such
 as animations, videos, and hyperlinks. These can make reading more engaging for
children
, helping them explore diverse topics.
Additionally
, online
resources
 are often more environmentally friendly, as they reduce the need for paper.
However
, a significant drawback is the potential distractions from ads or social media, which can interrupt a child's focus. Prolonged screen time may
also
 cause eye strain and fatigue.
In contrast
, traditional paper-based
resources
 promote a more focused reading environment with fewer distractions. Studies suggest that reading from paper can enhance comprehension and retention. Physical books
also
 offer a tactile experience, which can benefit younger
children
 by helping them develop a deeper connection with the material.
However
, paper
resources
 may be less accessible and more costly, and their production raises environmental concerns. In my opinion, the best approach is to combine
both
 methods. Online
resources
 provide easy access to information and engagement,
while
 traditional books encourage deeper focus. By balancing the use of
both
,
children
 can benefit from the advantages of each, fostering a well-rounded reading experience. In conclusion,
both
 formats have their merits, and a blended approach offers the most effective solution for
children
's learning.
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments, which can make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Try to expand certain sections for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic. For instance, discuss the drawbacks of traditional paper-based materials in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph evolves naturally from the previous one, maintaining the excellent flow you already have. This will make your essay even more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view, addressing both the benefits and drawbacks of online and traditional reading materials.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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