IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently bought a product online, but when it arrived, it was not as described. Write a letter to the customer service team. In your lette

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with a recent order I made in your
online-shop
Correct your spelling
online shop
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 two days ago. The order number is AB-123123-JA,
account
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the account
an account
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 number is 12384748. Concerning the issue was
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
, I have purchased
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 IP video camera which I intended to use to enhance the security
for
Change preposition
of
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 my house.
This
Linking Words
 renewal is crucial for me since I have a lot of business trips and want to be sure that my property is
in
Change preposition
apply
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safe.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, the product that I received is not acceptable and can not be used for the purposes I described above. Specifically, the camera that was delivered, does not have
an
Change the article
the
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 option to be connected to the network, despite
description
Correct article usage
the description
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 on your site
said
Wrong verb form
saying
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 it has. Missing
such
Linking Words
 capability makes
this
Linking Words
 device impossible to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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for remote monitoring.
Additionally
Linking Words
 to that, the quality of the picture
much
Add a missing verb
is much
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 lower
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 claimed.
Instead
Linking Words
 of 300
DPI
Add a comma
DPI,
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 it is 150. I believe that
such
Linking Words
 inconvenience was occasionally happened.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I would kindly ask you to replace
this
Linking Words
 camera with
different
Add an article
a different
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 model that matches the description. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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case
Add a comma
case,
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if
Correct word choice
apply
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this
Linking Words
 is not possible, please make
refund
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a refund
the refund
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. Yours faithfully, Vlad

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to proofread your writing for small grammatical mistakes and typos to improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Include a specific call to action or any timelines within which you expect a response.
Task Achievement
Clear and polite tone is maintained throughout the letter, suitable for addressing customer service.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter maintains a good logical structure, flowing smoothly from the problem statement to the proposed solution.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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