Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us yo buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, advertisements
depict
Wrong verb form
are depicted
show examples
everywhere and we look at them unawares. Some individuals think the adverts are so effective on consumer behaviour. The others hold the counter idea. In my opinion, I firmly believe that it is not very efficient for us. First of all, many people are influenced by ads and their choices are determined
this
way. It began with newspapers, televisions etc. With the development of technology, they have been using computers and mobile phones. After that, online advertisements had occurred. They are shown
according to
human behaviours. They start appearing on every platform when they search for an item on search engines. Even if they do not have the intention to buy, they start to think about it and analyse its online reviews which are one of the reasons to add to their basket.
As a result
, the adverts have been successful as companies.
On the other hand
, consumers especially those who are good at computer literacy think the opposite idea. Most of them use ad-blockers prevent to unwanted ads.
Moreover
, there are subscription models for
this
situation, and they prefer to subscribe.
In addition
, there are a lot of influencers on social media platforms. They usually plug a product and persuade people to buy it. Users do not believe in influencer marketing because they know that influencers do not pay anything for the products.
Also
, they do not follow
such
people. In conclusion, many individuals say that advertising is necessary to buy things. The others feel that waste of time. I completely believe that the drawbacks are more than the benefits of advertisements.
Submitted by jigglypuff on

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points with more depth and detail. For example, you mentioned that some people use ad-blockers, but you didn't elaborate on why this is significant.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well.
task achievement
You addressed both views as required by the prompt, and you provided your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Persuasive techniques
  • Consumer behavior
  • Brand familiarity
  • Emotional appeal
  • Celebrity endorsement
  • Influencer marketing
  • Repetition and frequency
  • Ad fatigue
  • Ad-blockers
  • Subscription models
  • Skeptical
  • Marketing tactics
  • Word-of-mouth
  • Online reviews
  • Brand loyalty
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