Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us yo buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, advertisements

depict

Wrong verb form

are depicted

show examples

everywhere and we look at them unawares. Some individuals think the adverts are so effective on consumer behaviour. The others hold the counter idea. In my opinion, I firmly believe that it is not very efficient for us. First of all, many people are influenced by ads and their choices are determined

this

way. It began with newspapers, televisions etc. With the development of technology, they have been using computers and mobile phones. After that, online advertisements had occurred. They are shown

according to

human behaviours. They start appearing on every platform when they search for an item on search engines. Even if they do not have the intention to buy, they start to think about it and analyse its online reviews which are one of the reasons to add to their basket.

As a result

, the adverts have been successful as companies.

On the other hand

, consumers especially those who are good at computer literacy think the opposite idea. Most of them use ad-blockers prevent to unwanted ads.

Moreover

, there are subscription models for

this

situation, and they prefer to subscribe.

In addition

, there are a lot of influencers on social media platforms. They usually plug a product and persuade people to buy it. Users do not believe in influencer marketing because they know that influencers do not pay anything for the products.

Also

, they do not follow

such

people. In conclusion, many individuals say that advertising is necessary to buy things. The others feel that waste of time. I completely believe that the drawbacks are more than the benefits of advertisements.

Submitted by jigglypuff on Mon Sep 23 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop your main points with more depth and detail. For example, you mentioned that some people use ad-blockers, but you didn't elaborate on why this is significant.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a clear structure, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well.

task achievement

You addressed both views as required by the prompt, and you provided your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Persuasive techniques
Consumer behavior
Brand familiarity
Emotional appeal
Celebrity endorsement
Influencer marketing
Repetition and frequency
Ad fatigue
Ad-blockers
Subscription models
Skeptical
Marketing tactics
Word-of-mouth
Online reviews
Brand loyalty

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us yo buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been proved that smoking kills. In some countries it has been made illegal for people to smoke in public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?