IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Public transporation is essential but problematic. Describe soem of the problems connected to the public transportation and suggest some solutions.

#transporation #soem #transportation
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Public
transportation
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 has been essential for everybody, but it is problematic. One of the problems
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of
traffic
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congestion
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 during the day, and the other issue is
air
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pollution
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. The possible solutions to these are that companies might offer to increase salaries if
employees
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use
Use synonyms
 a
bicycle
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, and
work
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 from
home
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. One of the issues is
traffic
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congestion
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 every day, so it is hard to move from point A to point B in pick hours.
Beside
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Besides
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this
Linking Words
, it is difficult for people who have second
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
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 to get to their jobs because
traffic
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congestion
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 increases after two pm.
As a result
Linking Words
, pick hours start
early
Rephrase
earlier
show examples
 than expected because many of these workers decide to leave their homes early to be on time. Another issue is
air
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pollution
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 might be causing lung diseases and allergies.
This
Linking Words
 is causing many
lungs cancer
Fix the agreement mistake
lung cancers
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, and more people are suffering from allergies and dry skin.
For instance
Linking Words
, in huge cities like New York, it is common to see a dark sky
due to
Linking Words
air
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pollution
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 and a lot of
traffic
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congestion
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 on the streets. One of the solutions is that companies might offer an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 salary for those who
use
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 a
bicycle
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 to get to their jobs, so
this
Linking Words
 might motivate
employees
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 to not
use
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 public
transportation
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 might decrease
traffic
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congestion
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 and
air
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pollution
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. Another solution is that many
employees
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 might
give
Wrong verb form
be given
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 the opportunity to
work
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 from
home
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, and
this
Linking Words
 might reduce the
use
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 of public
transportation
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 as well. If these
employees
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work
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 from
home
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, they might not
use
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 a car during the weekdays, and
this
Linking Words
 will reduce all the issues that public
transportation
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 brings. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, the vast majority of China's
employees
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use
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 a
bicycle
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, so the city has less
pollution
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 because people have understood
this
Linking Words
 is to protect the environment. In conclusion, there are many issues with public
transportation
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 like
traffic
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congestion
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 and
air
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pollution
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,
however
Linking Words
, there are some solutions for these
such
Linking Words
 as huge corporations might increase employee's salaries if they
use
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 a
bicycle
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 and give the opportunity to these
employees
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both problems and solutions effectively. However, some areas could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, you mentioned that increased salaries for bicycle use could motivate employees, but it would be useful to explain how this could be implemented practically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression between sentences and paragraphs. While the overall structure is clear, some transitions could be smoother. For example, use linking words like 'moreover,' 'consequently,' or 'therefore' to create a better flow between ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned New York and China, giving more specific statistics or studies could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points, making your essay easy to follow.
task response
The essay addresses multiple issues related to public transportation and suggests practical solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are well-organized, each dealing with a specific aspect of the issue, which helps maintain clarity.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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