You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The mortality rate among the youth has witnessed a substantial increase in the
world
.
This
has led to many questions roaming around the internet, " Youth are dying way before their time, what is going on?"
Stress
has led people to be on the brink of death, especially teenagers who are entrenched in deep depression.
Therefore
, the crux of
stress
should be prioritised to curb the reason for it completely before it turns fatal. Right off the bat, the predominant contributor to
stress
is overthinking outcomes that have not happened. Inevitably, students always have to be on their toes, preparing for "plan B's" and so on. It is incorporated in one's mind to have backup plans with other multifaceted approaches.
Conversely
, it should be ingrained in everyone's mind that we should believe in ourselves, albeit in the outcomes.
Moreover
, people should have the intellectual acuity of believing that hard work always pays off.
Therefore
,
stress
can be managed by trusting in their own ability to achieve anything in life. Other than that, another source of
stress
is the pressure from parents, teachers or even higher-ups in the office. Obviously, a little bit of pressure is required as humans tend to work based on the time given to them to complete a task.
For instance
, managers of the Big Three companies are known to be gritty and pushy towards their subordinates, overworking their employees
as well as
mistreating them at most.
However
, these experiences should be used as a stepping stone for learning to improve ourselves and not be comfortable all the time.
Nonetheless
, it is
also
important to be optimistic at these times and to not get stepped over by higher-ups as hired employees are not the manager's personal maid. In conclusion, an intervention is paramount to ensure people all around the
world
have sufficient
stress
management knowledge in order to succeed in
this
horrendous
world
.
Nevertheless
,
stress
is a multifactorial issue that requires immediate attention by the
World
Health Organisation (WHO) as it has a tremendous impact towards one's mental well-being.
Therefore
, the public should be more aware of the issue
as well as
the steps that should be taken to avert
this
matter.
Submitted by lishaanatalie on

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relevant specific examples
Consider including more specific and diverse examples to support your points, rather than general statements.
logical structure
Work on providing clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although the essay is generally clear, try to elaborate further on some ideas to provide more comprehensive insights.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the content well.
complete response
There is a complete response to the task with coverage of causes and measures.
supported main points
The main points are relevant and supported, albeit needing more specific examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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