The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In these temporary days, with the era of high-technological development and, the industrial revolution, news reports are being concerned about the populations from different parts of the world. The vast majority of inhabitants debated that the media had shown mainly negative pressing problems

while

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others believed that social networking sites should focus on positive

programmes

Use synonyms

This

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essay will partly agree and give some plausible explanations for these mentioned issues. On the one hand, watching emergencies have resulted in reality knowledge.

In other words

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, society will have more opportunities to enhance the globalization problems which can affect the nation's commercial or global warming. To explain

further

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, in the Covid 19, the locals can avoid disease and get information through viewing television

programmes

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Consequently

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, getting bad news can improve mature individual awareness of detrimental aspects.

On the other hand

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, viewing entertainment

programmes

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have various positive effects on society.

Firstly

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, individuals will have more activities to release stress after a long day of work and study.

Furthermore

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, watching relaxed videos is

also

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a way to recharge the battery and refresh the minds of all ages.

For instance

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according to

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a study by psychologists in New York shows that more than 50% of employees choose to play games and watch television to reduce pressure at work.

Therefore

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, viewing entertainment

programmes

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has a big impact on society's mental health. In conclusion, watching emergency news can lead to an understanding of worldwide.

However

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, entertainment videos

also

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play a principal role in people's lives.

[email protected]Thu Jun 13 2024

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task achievement

The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make it explicit whether you agree or disagree, or to what extent you agree with the statement. This helps readers understand your main argument from the start.

task achievement

Be careful with grammar and punctuation errors, such as the incorrect use of 'temporary days' instead of 'contemporary days' and missing articles like 'the' before 'Covid 19'.

task achievement

Develop your points further with more specific examples and details. For instance, explain more about how bad news improves individual awareness.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Your essay sometimes feels disjointed because transitions between ideas are not always smooth. Use transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'However,' more consistently.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that both the introduction and the conclusion clearly encapsulate the main ideas discussed. The introduction should offer a preview of the points you will discuss, and the conclusion should synthesize these points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Focus on structuring your paragraphs so that each one deals with a single main idea, supported by clear examples and explanations. This will help in making your argument more coherent and easier to follow.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the issue, discussing both the negative impacts of focusing on problems and the positive impacts of entertainment.

task achievement

The essay attempts to provide a balanced viewpoint by acknowledging the benefits of both types of news reports.

coherence cohesion

The examples provided, such as the role of news during Covid-19 and the study on stress reduction, help to substantiate the points made, even though they could be more detailed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

news reports
media focus
negative news
positive developments
stress and anxiety
skewed perception of reality
world view
desensitization
pessimistic outlook
general public
mental well-being
proactive problem-solving
holistic view
informed decision-making

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The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?