The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In these temporary days, with the era of high-technological development and, the industrial revolution, news reports are being concerned about the populations from different parts of the world. The vast majority of inhabitants debated that the media had shown mainly negative pressing problems
while
others believed that social networking sites should focus on positive programmes
. This
essay will partly agree and give some plausible explanations for these mentioned issues.
On the one hand, watching emergencies have resulted in reality knowledge. In other words
, society will have more opportunities to enhance the globalization problems which can affect the nation's commercial or global warming. To explain further
, in the Covid 19, the locals can avoid disease and get information through viewing television programmes
. Consequently
, getting bad news can improve mature individual awareness of detrimental aspects.
On the other hand
, viewing entertainment programmes
have various positive effects on society. Firstly
, individuals will have more activities to release stress after a long day of work and study. Furthermore
, watching relaxed videos is also
a way to recharge the battery and refresh the minds of all ages. For instance
, according to
a study by psychologists in New York shows that more than 50% of employees choose to play games and watch television to reduce pressure at work. Therefore
, viewing entertainment programmes
has a big impact on society's mental health.
In conclusion, watching emergency news can lead to an understanding of worldwide. However
, entertainment videos also
play a principal role in people's lives.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make it explicit whether you agree or disagree, or to what extent you agree with the statement. This helps readers understand your main argument from the start.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar and punctuation errors, such as the incorrect use of 'temporary days' instead of 'contemporary days' and missing articles like 'the' before 'Covid 19'.
task achievement
Develop your points further with more specific examples and details. For instance, explain more about how bad news improves individual awareness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Your essay sometimes feels disjointed because transitions between ideas are not always smooth. Use transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'However,' more consistently.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that both the introduction and the conclusion clearly encapsulate the main ideas discussed. The introduction should offer a preview of the points you will discuss, and the conclusion should synthesize these points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your paragraphs so that each one deals with a single main idea, supported by clear examples and explanations. This will help in making your argument more coherent and easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, discussing both the negative impacts of focusing on problems and the positive impacts of entertainment.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide a balanced viewpoint by acknowledging the benefits of both types of news reports.
coherence cohesion
The examples provided, such as the role of news during Covid-19 and the study on stress reduction, help to substantiate the points made, even though they could be more detailed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?