Some people think the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The concept of funding
science
education rather than other subjects is given significant importance, largely influenced by the aspiration for societal progression. Considering the evident benefits of social well-being at both material and moral levels, I totally agree with
this
thought.
To begin
with, the fact that scientific
technology
plays a leading role in advancing societal development indicates that investment in
science
teaching is rewarding.
In other words
, the priority shown in the government's investment encourages youngsters to dedicate themselves to
this
major knowing that the related jobs will be highly demanded after their graduation.
Consequently
, advancement in
science
and
technology
can be achieved
due to
a large amount of specialists in
this
field.
For example
, the advent of industry and the information era in history are primarily attributed to the
technology
innovation. Admittedly, a voice may arise that other subjects
such
as art, and philosophy are equally important to
science
. Ironically,
while
these disciplines mainly focus on the moral ground,
science
development ought to be regarded as the foundation for a country to progress.
For instance
, it is the status quo in the world that art, philosophy, and culture are flourishing in developed countries where people live affluent lives,
whereas
, in those unprivileged regions, people are still suffering from a shortage of basic needs
due to
undeveloped
technology
.
That is
to say, a government should place more significance on
science
and
technology
breakthroughs which may
also
benefit higher-level development
such
as art and philosophy. In conclusion, I maintain the idea that
science
teaching in school would bring tangible advantages to societal progression by cultivating an increasing number of experts in
this
area.
In addition
, the advancement in people's material life would
also
boost the cultural boom for human civilisation.
Submitted by yangluo22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear progression of ideas throughout. The essay is well structured, but could benefit from more explicit paragraphing and transitions between ideas for improved clarity.
task achievement
Address the essay prompt directly by providing a more balanced argument that explores both sides to a greater extent. Your position should be unmistakably clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay lacks clear and specific examples to support the provided claims; consider incorporating more concrete and varied examples to substantiate your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • holistic development
  • technological advancements
  • critical thinking
  • cultural awareness
  • sustainable development
  • return on investment (ROI)
  • global competitiveness
  • job market
  • equitable education
  • funding allocation
  • curriculum balance
  • civic responsibilities
  • interdisciplinary approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: